Hi and welcome back to my table. I am glad you decided to drop by and visit with me. Earlier today, while eating lunch I was surfing through some TV Stations and came across a reality based program…Extreme Makeovers. From what I understand, a person is selected to receive an extreme makeover. Once the person has been selected to receive the makeover, camera’s show up and the individual is surprised by being told, “You have been selected to receive an Extreme Makeover.”
Once the individual learns that they have been selected, a short vignette is shown introducing why the individual needs the makeover. After the vignette is shown, the extreme makeover is shown in stages. Towards the end of the program, the individual is presented to their friends and the TV audience. After the applauses and the encouraging words are shared the TV program ends, and the audience is led to believe that the individual has been“fixed” and “made whole” by the makeover.
I am not disparaging an external makeover, because I could benefit from a new wardrobe. Nevertheless, if I am waiting for a wardrobe change or some other external makeover to somehow magically make me to be OK with myself and other people I may never be OK with anyone. If I base my quality of life on my external presentation, I may find myself disheartened or discouraged when I do not quite measure up to an expecation.
My experience has taught me that when I base my worth or value on external validation I set myself up for failure because the proverbial bar for approval invariably gets raised. Perfection then becomes the illusion that is often measured outside of me. When I seek to qualify my worth by external validation, doing rather than being then becomes the measuring stick for my success and well being.
Through my experience, I have learned to place my value on my being rather than on my doing. External presentation then becomes an extension of who I am as a person, rather than as a representation of my being. My being defines who I am as a person. Having this awareness frees me from the task of needing to be made over to be made whole. As a unique being I do not have to be more than I am.
Having a disability does not limit or diminish our worth or value my friend. In essence, our disabilities become the very abilities that set us apart. When we experienced our traumatic brain injuries we entered a supernatural dimension. We were given a tremendous opportunity to grow in ways that will enable us to be a blessing to those individuals who have yet to experience a traumatic brain injury.
We can grow where we are planted and we do not have to be made over to be enough. We can be comfortable in our own skin. We can run our own race and we can make the most of what remains. Be encouraged my friend, because your circumstances are not meant to keep you down, but they are meant to build you up! More will be revealed.
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