In August of 1967 my parents, my brother and myself were in a bad car accident. My Mom and I were not expected to live the night of the car accident. Per the injuries that I sustained in the car accident: a fractured left femur (thigh bone) snapped on my Dad's bucket set as I was projected forward to the inside of the windshield. Upon hitting the inside of the windshield I … [Read more...]
Relationships following a Brain Injury
Relationships create challenges. Relationships after brain injury create different challenges. Each individuals brings with them their history. History in terms of what was learned and experienced growing up. History also in terms of what they experienced in past relationships. If there was dysfunction in those relationships, dysfunction will be brought into each relationship. Such dysfunction can continue to undermine and sabotage relationships. Continue to undermine and get in the way of existing relationships and other relationships... unless new boundaries and behaviors are learned and used in relationships.
Articles in this category give ways to recognize, address and change behaviors that no longer work.
Once an individual experiences a brain injury another dynamic enters into the relationship. Denial. Once external wounds have healed and the impact of the brain injury becomes invisible denial enters relationships. I can speak from personal experience. For many years I had no idea that my life was being impacted by the open skull fracture and brain injury when I was 10 years old. When asked friends would tell me that there was some thing different about me, but they could not put their "put their finger on it." I could not "put my finger on it" either because denial kept it hidden from me.
My denial and other people's denial. The result from this denial was alienation. An alienation from myself and from other people. People who could not or would not consider that my life was being impacted by a brain injury. People who could not or would not accept me and needed to believe that I was making excuses. People who needed to stay in denial, because to come out of denial would mean they would need to change. Nevertheless, the reality was that I was the only one who needed to accept and own my reality. I was the only one who could do anything about how my life being was impacted by a brain injury.
I was the only one who could do anything to change the way my life was being impacted. I was the only one who could do anything about the dysfunctional way I related to myself and other people. I was the only one who could work a program of recovery to change my behavior. I was the only one who could change the way I related to people. I was the only one who could stop participating in behaviors that no longer worked for me. I was the only one who do anything to enhance to make my life better. I was the only one who could learn how to live with and to navigate through life with a brain injury and an invisible disability.
I was the only one who could learn how to live with and to navigate through life with a brain injury and an invisible disability. I was the only one who could change my behavior so that I could begin to have functional relationships.
In the articles with in this category I share what helped me to change the way that I related to myself and other people. With in this category I speak to how I found freedom from the denial in myself and other people. In this category I share what I learned that helped me to begin to have a relationship with myself. I share what helped me to experience a freedom. A freedom that I previously never knew existed. I share what helped me to accept myself, when other people could not or would not accept me. I share what helped me to have functional relationship with myself and with other people. In this category I share hope.
Several days ago I wrote the article, How to Stop Pushing People Away. In today's article I would like to share that article in video format. I create video presentations of my articles to provide the information in a format that empowers individuals who learn through watching and listening. Below is a brief excerpt from the article: "In yesterday’s article, Is Life Making You … [Read more...]
In yesterday's article, Is Life Making You Bitter or Better? I spoke about a decision that each of us are faced with, given our history and life's experiences. With that decision comes a personal accountability and responsibility, to both ourselves and other people. How we respond to that accountability and responsibility will undoubtedly impact both our well-being and our … [Read more...]
Several weeks ago I wrote and published the article, Resentment and The Power of Forgiveness. Today I will publish a video presentation of the article. Below is a brief excerpt of the article. “Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner!” Max Lucado Last night I attended a support group meeting the topic of forgiveness was … [Read more...]
“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner!” Max Lucado Last night I attended a support group meeting the topic of forgiveness was tabled for discussion. I listened to what people shared and when it came time for me to share I shared my perspective. In my experience, I have found that resentments stem from unforgiveness and … [Read more...]