Yesterday, I attended a support group meeting, where the topic of resentment and forgiveness was shared by one member of the group.
When the topic was tabled for discussion my initial thought was “letting go”. As the discussion moved around the circle, as people shared, I thought about something that I experienced on the way to attending another support group meeting the previous Wednesday.
The Experience — Last Wednesday
After parking my car, I walked to where I was going to attend the support group meeting. This support group meeting is held at a church.
As I walk toward where the meeting was to be held, I saw a man dressed in a suit. The next thing that I saw was a hearse pulled into a parking space (which was behind the church). I gathered that the man was a funeral director and asked him if there was a funeral scheduled. He said yes and I continued on to attend the meeting.
After the meeting and on my way back to where my car was parked I stopped to look into the hearse. I looked into the hearse, not expecting anything, as I thought the casket had already been moved into the church. Instead, what I saw was a blue steel casket unattended by the funeral director.
As I saw the casket in the hearse I thought about the finality of life and the body lying lifeless in the casket.
After seeing the casket in the hearse I walked back to my car. The image of the casket there in the hearse; unattended, reinforced a reality. When I am dead and gone my resentments will no longer matter to anyone.
Resentments (unresolved) are going to go with me to the grave with no meaning or purpose.
Reflecting on this reality, I had another spiritual awakening.
Unless resentments are resolved they will continue to hurt me. Unless resentments are resolved, letting go will be impossible.
Unless resentments are resolved, I may never know or sing my song.
”Resentment Is Like Taking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die” Malachy McCourt
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned.” Buddha
With this realization, I am reminded that resentments held onto only serve to poison me.
With this realization, I am reminded that resentments held onto only serve to burn me.
With these realizations, I am reminded that resentments only serve to injure and slowly kill me.
With this realization, I am motivated to resolve my resentment(s) so as to stop taking poison and stop picking up hot coals.
What I shared with the Support Group
I shared what I had learned through my experience with the hearse and the casket. I then shared the realization that unless resentments are resolved and let go of, resentments will only keep me stuck. Stuck like a deer in the headlights.
Stuck believing that I am a victim of my circumstances.
I went on to share that I have the ability to step away from the headlights, through working an inventory and a grieving process. (See my article by clicking on this link Action Steps)
By letting go of my resentments I am able to away from the “headlights”. By letting go of my resentments I am able to stop believing that I am a victim of my circumstances.
By letting go of my resentments, I am given the ability to use energy; once depleted, to discover my song.
By letting go of my resentments I am given the ability to make other choices. By letting go of my resentments, I am given the ability to take steps to sing my song.
By letting go of my resentments and by forgiving I am given the ability to get on with my life to sing my song.
By letting go of resentment; to experience forgiveness, I will not be among those individuals who are living their lives in quiet desperation.
By letting go of my resentments; to experience forgiveness, I will not be among those individuals who will go to the grave with the song still in them.
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Henry David Thoreau
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