To watch and listen to the video presentation of the article, please click on this link: Brain Injury — Why do I Feel so Misunderstood and Shunned? Video Presentation
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Recently I received a comment and a question. As an individual living with the impact of a brain injury and an invisible disability, I have asked the question many times.
The question I received was, “Why do I feel so misunderstood and shunned?”. In my experience and through many struggles the answer to the question became apparent to me. If you have asked this question too, I would invite you to read on to find out what became apparent.
If you have asked this question too, I would invite you to read on to find out what became apparent to me.
What became apparent to me helped me to have peace in my life when misunderstood and shunned.
What became apparent to me helped me to grow in self-acceptance, despite being misunderstood and shunned.
What became apparent to me helped me to let go of the people who misunderstand and shun me.
What became apparent to me helped me to move across the bridge called hope and create a good life for myself.
In my experience and through my own recovery process, I came to realize two realities. The first reality is that many people do not want or do not know how to process their feelings. The second reality that helped me to begin to have more peace in my life was that many people either do not know how to or do not want to change. To face the reality that our lives have been forever changed because of our brain injury may be too painful. Too painful for them to accept. Because accepting our reality may be too painful, individuals may stay in and defend their denial. Defending their denial for what they do not want to accept is not our fault. Secondly, because of the lack of acceptance, they may justify the way they treat us.
Defending their denial for what they do not want to accept is not our fault. Justifying the way they treat us, because of their lack of acceptance; is not our fault.
In my experience and for many years (once I began to come out of my own denial) I attempted to get family members and friends to understand and accept my reality. I tried to explain to them in many different ways that I was not “fudging” or “making excuses”. I tried to convince them otherwise, but the more I tried the more I felt frustrated. What was conveyed to me was, that if I just tried harder then I would not be affected by my brain injury. But the reality was that I had tried “every which what way” that I could to not be impacted or affected because of my brain injury. My trying to convince them of my reality created ongoing conflicts. Conflicts in them because of what they could not accept and conflict in me for feeling that there was something wrong with me.
Conflicts in me for not being able to not be impacted by a brain injury. Conflicts in me that would leave me frustrated. Conflicts in me that left me a sense of shame. A sense of shame for not being able to overcome the impact of my brain injury and my invisible disability.
After much toil and cycles through the mentioned conflicts, I had a spiritual awakening. A realization that I needed to do something different. A realization that I needed to do something to be able to accept myself. A realization that what I was trying to change was not changing my reality. When I reached a point when I could no longer deny and defend my reality, I made some life changing choices. I began to grieve my reality. Grieving my reality helped me to get to a place of acceptance. Acceptance provided the “bridge” to taking a different course of action.
Through my grieving process, I discovered that as I was able to face, confront and address my own denial I had more peace in my life. What I discovered through confronting my own lack of acceptance, I was able to let go of the struggle. The struggle that convinced me that I needed to get “them” to understand and accept what I could not change. What I also discovered was that I needed to let go. I needed to let go of what other people wanted or need me to believe “about” me so that I could get on with my life. What I discovered was that I alone needed to accept my reality.
Can’t Afford to Wait for People to Catch Up
What I discovered was that I needed to and need to let go of what other people think of me. What I discovered was that I needed to walk down a road that only I could travel. I also began to realize that in order to create a good life for myself I could no longer wait for people to walk over the “bridge” of acceptance. I began to realize that in order for me to create a good life for myself I could not wait for people to catch up. Catch up in their ability to understand and to accept me in my reality. I also began to realize that although people needed me to be “different” I could be myself.
I could not afford to wait for people to catch up with their ability to accept me in my reality. I needed to move on and learn how to be effective in my reality.
I began to realize that being misunderstood and shunned was the “way” in which “they” coped with what they could not accept. I began to realize that I needed to let the people who misunderstood and shunned me go. I needed to let them go so that I could grow in my own acceptance. The acceptance of who I am and what I could do living with the impact of a brain injury and an invisible disability. What I could do in ways that would work for me. Several years ago I wrote an article and made a video presentation of the article. Below are links to the article and the video presentation. The article illustrates how valuable we are, with what makes us different in the midst of being misunderstood and shunned. You are of much value, because of your reality.
In my experience, as I began to realize that I could not wait for people to “catch up” to me in their acceptance, I found a new freedom. I began to realize that I was walking down a road less traveled. A road that was leading to fulfilling my dreams. A road that was leading to my destiny. A road across other “bridges” of acceptance, yet to be discovered. Bridges of acceptance that would give me more peace in my life. Bridges that would help me to accept that people are where they are on their own journeys. The people who misunderstand and shun me, for whatever reason.
During the past 9 1 /2 years, as I have grown to accept both myself and where other people are on their journeys I have continued to make peace with being misunderstood and shunned. As I have found more peace, being misunderstood and shunned has had less impact upon me. Several days ago I updated my about page to share what has helped me to be at peace with being misunderstood and shunned. In my updated about page, I share what helped and continues to help me to move forward with my life. I would invite you to click on the following link: Updated About Page.
My experience may help you to let go of the people who misunderstand and shun you. My experience may help you to find more peace in your life when people misunderstand and shun you. My experience may help you to not feel less alone. My experience may encourage and inspire you to walk down a road less traveled and over “bridges” of acceptance. Bridges of acceptance yet to be revealed. As you read my about page and what I share helps you, please let me know. Thank you. I would love to hear from you.
You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however, please attribute me as being the author of the article (s) video presentation (s), and provide a link back to the article (s) on Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. Copyright 2016.