Several days ago I wrote the article, You’re Not Crazy — You have an Invisible Disability. In that article, I spoke about the realization that I came to by experiencing enough pain in my life that motivated me to grieve my reality.
The reality that I was living with the impact of a traumatic brain injury and an invisible disability. The reality of which I was powerless to change. The reality of which was not for my attempting to overcome and disprove. See my article Finding Craig — My Academic Pursuits. The reality of which family and friends still wanted or needed to believe.
In the past day, I received several comments and observations from readers of You’re Not Crazy — You have an Invisible Disability. For many years I was led to believe that, “if I just…”then “I would not…” and I “could get…” then “I would be…”. The “just, not, get, be” kept me focused on what other people thought I “should be” in life.
Vicariously, people wanted me to “be” so that they would not have to feel or make changes in their lives. Maintaining their need to deny my reality, did not make them wrong or bad, it just made them powerless to change. With the realization of my being powerless to change these individuals or their need to deny my reality, I gained a new freedom. A freedom to change the things that I could in me.
The freedom to realize that, no matter how many times I phrased or rephrased my reality I could not change their minds. The freedom to accept my powerless over ignorance, arrogance or the willingness to understand. The freedom to realize that, regardless of whether anyone grasps my reality, I am the only one who – with the help and guidance of a loving God — can create a good and lasting life for myself. The freedom to realize that I am not responsible, nor do I have to carry anyone else’s guilt because of my reality. The freedom to realize that, I no longer have to feel like a square peg in a world of round holes. A freedom to create my own unique hole. The freedom to realize that, I could fill that hole in ways that would work for me.
The freedom to realize, that I am the only one who can reach a threshold of pain to motivate me to make changes in my life.
The freedom to realize that, other people also need to reach their own threshold of pain to make changes in their lives.
When I become sick and tired of being sick and tired, about being sick and tired I become willing to make changes.
The same reality pertains to other people. When they become sick and tired, of being sick and tired about being sick and tired.
The freedom to realize that, I no longer have to should on myself — should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. Instead, I am free to learn.
The freedom to realize that, everyone is doing the best that they know how to do, just for today.
The freedom to realize that, I too am doing the best that I know how to do, just for today.
The freedom to realize that, by surrendering and admitting that I need help is not a sign of weakness.
The freedom to realize that, surrendering and admitting that I need help, I am opening the door to possibilities.
The freedom to realize that, I don’t have to recover more than one day at a time. More will be revealed to me in time.
The freedom to realize that, I don’t have to be drawn into another person’s denial. I can live in my reality and succeed.
The freedom to realize that, I am not responsible for how other people choose to feel about my reality.
The freedom to realize that, that it is better to understand than to be understood.
The freedom to realize that, I can love and accept myself, although other people may choose not to love and accept me.
The freedom to realize that, whether people choose to love and accept me in my reality is about them and not about me.
The freedom to realize that, it is not my responsibility to convince anyone of anything concerning my reality.
The freedom to realize that, whether other people choose to understand my reality, that is their responsibility.
The freedom to realize that, I only get one life to live and how I choose to live my life is my responsibility.
The freedom to realize that, I am not a victim, unless I choose to be a victim.
The freedom to realize that, life is for living, not merely surviving.
The freedom to realize that, I can create hope in my life every day.
The freedom to realize that, I can choose to not give up on my process, a loving God and myself.
The freedom to realize that, more will be revealed to me with time.
The freedom to realize that, I have a purpose and a reason to still be here.
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