This past Wednesday, I attended a support group meeting where the topic tabled was isolation. I listened to the topic and intellectually grasped the concept, as I have spoken about isolation previously in articles on Second Chance to Live. Towards the end of Wednesday’s meeting I shared some thing that I had not thought about in many years. Although I crave intimacy — in to me see — yet I fear intimacy. Being conflicted has resulted in my being frustrated for many years.
What’s more is that I have been doing the same thing, over and over again, hoping for different results. In essence, I have been going to proverbial hardware stores looking to find bread. Social outlets have been scarse and the individuals with in those social outlets (that I had / have been attending) do not have to give, what they themselves do not possess. As a result, I found myself continuing to be frustrated and disappointed with no apparent solutions in sight.
Over the past week I found that my pain and anguish reached a point that I began questioning hope and my life. Yesterday, I found myself depressed and hopeless. In my anguish, I called a friend and shared my frustration surrounding my difficulty connecting with people. During our conversation, she suggested that I take action to reach out to people and ask them out for coffee. This morning, Sunday; I arrived early at a support group meeting — with my daily planner in hand — and asked several people if they would like to get together for coffee. I spoke to several people before and several others after the meeting. I am glad that I reached out and took this action, as I have 2 appointments to get together for coffee later in this week.
I am looking forward to getting together with these individuals, as we each have some “bread” to give to one another.
I am glad that I reach the threshold of pain and anguish for several reasons. I am glad that I reached a threshold of pain and anguish because they motivated me to realize that I needed to do something different. I am thankful for my pain and anguish as they motivated me to take a new course of action. A course of action that will open new doors and create new possibilities for me. I am grateful for the pain and anguish that helped me to move out of my comfort zone (of isolating and being alone) to practice new behaviors with safe people, who are also seeking to live a spiritual (not a religious) life.
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