“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner!” Max Lucado
Last night I attended a support group meeting the topic of forgiveness was tabled for discussion. I listened to what people shared and when it came time for me to share I shared my perspective. In my experience, I have found that resentments stem from unforgiveness and unforgiveness many times can be traced to expectations that have not been met or fulfilled. In my experience, I have found I may not even be aware of the reasons for resentment (s) until a current event reminds me of my resentment(s).
Resentment (s), unchecked and unresolved; smolder like lava beneath a volcano. Resentment (s), unchecked and unresolved, grow like a malignant tumor slowly destroying beneath the surface. Resentment (s), unchecked and unresolved; come out sideways, as the lava of unforgivenesss, through anger; oozes out at unpredictable and unexpected times. Resentment (s) unchecked and unresolved; leave banished souls in their wake. Banished from relationships, hopes and dreams that might have been.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Carrie Fisher
“Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting – it’s us.” Alana Stewart
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned.” Author unknown
“Resentments leave me stuck believing that I am a victim of some thing that I am powerless to change. The good news is that as I let go of the resentment (s), I am able to stop believing that I am a victim over that which I am powerless to change.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
But there is good news. I have found that resentments can be checked and resolved through a process. The process involves being honest with myself, taking the time to examine who I am resentful at, the cause of my resentment, how the resentment impacts (impacted) my — self-esteem, personal relationships, finances, material goods, security, ambitions and my emotional well-being). I also need to examine what my motives were that resulted in or led me to my being resentful. .
Resentments are often tied to my fear of losing some thing or not getting some thing that I want of think I need. The good news is that I can examine my fear (s) as they relate to my resentments, so that these fears no longer have to paralyze me. Examining my fear (s) can also open the door to a freedom that I never knew existed. By examining my resentments I am able to also examine the expectations that were (are) at the root of my resentment (s). By examining my expectations, I am able to curtail future resentment.
Examining my resentments empower me to forgive, both myself and other people, Examining my resentments help me to grow in awareness. Examining my resentments help to free up internal energy so that I can take action. Action that will both empower my process. my relationships and enable me to pursue my dreams and my destiny with out restraint.
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.
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