On Saturday May 30, 2015, I had the opportunity to be a speaker before a support group. Below are some of the valuable recovery lessons learned and shared (from my experience, strength and hope) during my presentation to the support group.
My motivation in sharing the below with you is to share what has helped me in my recovery process and has given my hope. And as I need to remember, please remember that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened.
As the information benefits you, please share the below information with anyone who you know that is facing a difficult time in their life. Please let them know that more will be revealed in time.
As you read through what I share in the article and questions arise, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions.
One of the most important lessons that I have learned through my recovery process was that until I faced my denial and owned my reality I could not find a new life Apart from facing my denial, I could not grow in awareness, nor acceptance. What I came to realize was apart from awareness and acceptance, I do not possess the incentive or motivation to get into action. In my experience, I discovered that the pain of my need to deny my reality had to be superseded by the pain of denying my reality before I could begin to grieve my reality. Before I could get into action and stop being limited by what I am powerless over and can not change. So that I could stop living some one else’s dream for me. So that I could stop fighting against myself. So that I could begin to see my disappointments and discouragement as a way that set me up, not as a way to set me back.
A switch on the railroad of life that led me to discover ways to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me.
With these realization I began to comprehend the reality that what happened / happens to me is not as important as what I do with what happened / happens to me. With my awareness, I grew in my ability to comprehend that there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities to learn, again. I also began to embrace the concept of learning curves, and that I could begin to accept that my learning curve did not have to match anyone else’s learning curve. That living and learning is about a process and a journey, not a destination. I gained the ability to understand the concept of pursuing excellence, instead of being driven by perfectionism; to qualify my worth and value as an individual. My awareness helped me to begin to realize that my reactions seem to define my reality. If I am reacting to people, places and things, my reactions are more about me than they are about the person, place of thing.
My past will spoil my present if I do not stop reacting to my past in my present.
If I am trying to change another person, because I do not like what they are doing — to make me feel…then I am in a codependent relationship with them…needing them to change so that I can… I need to stay out of judgement, for when I judge another person, I judge myself. I need to let a loving God to sort things out. He alone has the big picture. My understanding of faith has matured in that I believe that circumstances point me in the direction of faith and hope, as I learn from them. For they teach me lessons that prepare me for opportunities that provide experiences, that teach me more lessons that provide more opportunities. Collectively, my circumstances, lessons, opportunities and experiences; are being used to lead me to my destiny. Why I am here on this place called earth. I need to have a healthy relationship with hope, that develops through my relationship with my circumstances, lessons, opportunities and experiences; as I stay willing to learn from each of these various tutors as I live my life.
I need to remember that, yes; all these things have happened in my life, but I am not a victim. With my awareness, I need to remember that, as Zig Ziglar put it, “Regardless or your lot in life, you can build some thing beautiful on it”. I need to remember to keep my head where my feet are and realize where I end and other people begin. I am not responsible for cleaning up or keeping other people’s side of the street clean. I do not have to be perfect. I can make direct amends to the people who I may have offended. Making amends is for me, not necessarily for the other person; although making amends can restore relationships. I can stop berating myself by considering the possibilities in the learning opportunity, if I believe that my circumstances are not meant to keep me down.
Please read Part 2 of this article by clicking on this link: Second Chance to Live — Lessons Learned and Shared with a Support Group Part 2
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