In the past several articles, I have spoken to Is the Medical Model of Treatment Defining and Keeping You in a “Box”?, How I Found Freedom from the “Box” and Societal Stigmatization , How are We Teaching People to Treat Us? and Getting Comfortable in Our Own Skin Being Outside of the “Box”. The awareness’ I gained and share in these articles came over a period of time and as a result of my own pain. As I shared in my most recent article, Getting Comfortable in Our Own Skin Being Outside the Box I discovered that through grieving the loss of how I thought my life should be, I was empowered see life and my circumstances in a new way. I was also able to begin seeing life as being done for me, instead of being done to me.
Pain, once seen as my nemesis, became an ally in my healing process. Instead of seeing myself as a victim, I began to see myself as an empowered being who has choices.
Through grieving the way that I thought life should be, I was able to begin to accept the way that life was because…. By accepting the way that my life was because of… I was able to start living life on life’s terms. By living life on life’s terms, I discovered that I could get into action. By learning how to live life on life’s term, I discovered that I could see life as a journey, not a destination. By living life on life’s terms, I discovered that I could explore beyond the “box” of the way that I thought life should look. By living life on life’s terms, I discovered that I could stop fighting against myself. By living life on life’s terms I discovered that I could see my circumstances in a different way. By learning to live life on life’s terms I discovered that although there were people in my life who wanted me to remain in the “box” — for various reasons — I could learn how to live and thrive outside of the “box”.
In February 2007, I wrote an article to share what helped me to learn how to live and thrive outside of the “box”, apart from an “all or none”, “black and white” filter or perception. I would like to share that article with you.
Posted by Second Chance to Live on February 13, 2007
This simple but profound concept alluded me for a large part of my life. You see, I thought that perfection was the benchmark of success. The demand of perfection clouded my eyes and I was unable to celebrate the progress I was making in my pursuits. Perfectionism kept raising the bar of expectation. The fear of failure coupled with a pervasive sense of shame seemed to be my constant companion, dissuading me from trying new projects, activities or goals. I was stuck in an abyss of fear and anxiety.
In my attempt to silence the voice of shame and inadequacy, I found myself tenaciously pursuing the illusion of perfection. As I continued to overcompensate, I found myself in a dilemma. Because the good that I did rarely seemed to be good enough, I found myself in an endless cycle of striving to be more and do more. As I began to realize the futility of my efforts to do enough to be enough, the clouds that once kept me under a yoke of oppression began to part and my spiritual eyes were opened.
Through my pursuit to be free from this faulty belief system, I had spiritual awakenings. I began to realize that life is a process, not to be defined by outcomes. I also discovered that when I attempt to define my life by potential outcomes, I set myself up to be irritable, restless and discontent. In my process of growth, I have discovered that I could be satisfied with small successes brought about by the footwork that I set forth in all my endeavors. I have also discovered that it is in my best interest to trust the God of my understanding with any and all outcomes.
My belief system has changed. I no long feel the need to overcompensate, in order to prove my worth and value. I now know that I am enough. Trusting God with the outcomes frees me to enjoy the footwork. I now find myself encouraging people I meet along the path of life with this statement, “Take one step at a time, keep going at what you are doing and before long you will look back and see how far you have come”.
This philosophy has inspired me to enjoy the process of living, which in turn keeps me from judging my efforts, one day at a time.
You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however please attribute me as being the author of the article (s) video presentation (s), and provide a link back to the article (s) on Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. Copyright 2007-2016.