Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. In my experience I had to address the issues related to what I shared in Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5 before I could begin to love and accept myself. I would encourage you to read each Part of the article, as I go into detail in each part. Here is a very brief summary of each Part.
In Part 1 I introduced the principle of the 3 A’ – Awareness, Acceptance and Action
In Part 2 I shared how things got set up for me and how I attempted to find myself through a codependent dance, people pleasing, approval seeking and mind reading. All of which kept me striving, confused and baffled.
In Part 3 I shared how I sought to find myself through maintaining a family system role, a denial system that kept me stuck as I attempted to manage the drama and crisis. I shared why I felt stuck in the roll, thinking the drama and crisis would “save” me.
In Part 4 I spoke to why I felt it was necessary to carry other people’s guilt and shame in an attempt to keep people from being irritable, restless and discontent. I also speak to shame transfers and the concept of passing the “hot potato” in relationships.
And in Part 5 I spoke about the impact of how debilitating shame — learned early in a person’s life – if unchecked will debilitate individuals in their attempts to maintain and sustain relationships so as to not be ridiculed, rejected, alienated and abandoned.
In my experience, I had to arrive at the awareness’s — that I shared in each Part of this article series — before I could begin to find the freedom to love and accept myself. These awareness’s empowered my ability to take the action so that I could stop fighting against myself. These awareness’s helped me to recognize when I was “driving” myself — in an attempt to justify my worth and value. These awareness’s helped me to stop being intimidated by the demands of perfectionism and start valuing the pursuit of excellence as a way of life. These awareness’s helped to recognize that hope had always been a part of my journey and my process. These awareness’s helped me to make peace with myself and with a loving God.
In my experience I needed to grow in these awareness’s and subsequent acceptance before I could allow myself to trust the process, a loving God and myself. I needed to grow in awareness and acceptance so that I could see my experience of living as a process and a journey, not a destination. I needed to grow in awareness and acceptance before I could begin to see that life is made up of ingredients, baking cakes and pieces of a puzzle. I needed to grow in awareness and acceptance before I could begin to see that I did not have to be limited by my limitations. I needed to grow in awareness and acceptance before I could move beyond the box that a societal stigmatization sought to keep me in through labeling and stereotyping.
As read this article and questions come to mind, please send those questions to me. All questions are good question. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you. You may send your question (s) or a comment by clicking on this link: Contact Page.
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