Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. In today’s article I would like to share some thing with you that I have found that limits the ability of individuals to be individuals. Let me explain. As each person grows and develop, they learn patterns of relating to other people. Society reinforces these patterns and like sheep, people mindlessly fall in line with other sheep. These social patterns mandate and reinforce compliance to interpreting and adjusting the manner to which individuals relate to social environments.
Let me explain my thinking.
As each person grows and develops with in society they learn patterns. These patterns for living and relating to other people help the individual to interpret and adjust to their specific social environment (s) – be it in the nuclear family, school, church, employment and career paths. To survive with in these environments, the individual may find themselves acquiescing to strong willed individuals within these social environments. Although individuals may see these strong willed individuals as having ulterior motives, going along to get along may be seen as a way to avoid alienation.
In the nuclear family, school, church, employment or career paths, where the threat of emotional abandonment or reprisal is covertly or overtly used to both control and temper its members; a trigger or pattern is set. With repeated reinforcement the individual becomes conditioned to a specific response. Such conditioning can occur gradually over a period of time. When compliance becomes the expectation, shame – through a fear of abandonment, reprisal or alienation — can be used to intimidate and manipulate individual into believing their well-being will be in jeopardy unless they fall in line.
Patterns of compliance and conditioning – to avoid the fear of abandonment, alienation and reprisal – may subsequently set the individual up to believe that they deserve to be used, manipulated and controlled by people and groups throughout their life time. In the process, these individuals may subsequently trade their judgment for the judgment of the group’s leadership and for the group’s judgment itself. In the process, the individual may find that their unique identity has been sacrificed to blend in with the identity of the group.
In the process, the individual may increasingly seek to find their identity with in the group. Consequently, the individual may consciously believe that apart from maintaining rigid control and compliance to the group’s expectations, that they will never find their identity. To avoid a loss of self in the groups identity, the individual may actively seek to dismiss and discount parts of themselves in an attempt to find their identity with in the group. In the process, individual may increasingly give up parts of themselves that do not serve the group’s expectations, dictates and / or agenda (s).
A question to consider — Are you being bullied by the group?
To read Part 2 of this article, please click on the following link. Thank you. Is the Group that You are In Hurting You? — Are you being Bullied? Part 2
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