Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. In the past several articles Some thing to Consider — Who is limiting you?, A Very Important Question — Whose Shame are you Carrying Part 1? and Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury – What may be keeping you Stuck? I have shared some personal insights with you.
In the below article, I will share some more personal insights with you. In my experience, I discovered that I needed to break the three unspoken rules to begin to heal. A little over 5 years ago, I wrote an article to share what I discovered concerning how the three rules impacted my life. May my experience help you to begin to heal on a new level to see a new light. May my experience empower your process.
Because of the length of the article, I will divide the article into two parts.
Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, and Don’t Feel
Hi friends. I am glad you decided to stop by and rest. Tonight I want to introduce a series of topics through this post. I believe that the above title sums up a central theme that reeks havoc in many people’s lives. These rules mandated that I adhere without question. In the process, I had to discard parts of me on a regular basis in order to avoid negative repercussions. In the process of maintaining these rules, my creative uniqueness and energy shriveled and died.
These rules kept me isolated and victimized by my circumstances. Although these rules appeared to protect me at the time, in reality they entrapped me in a web of deception. These rules keep me bound because they alienated me from God, from others, and from myself. Unknowingly, I was feeding my own denial as well as the denial of both family and friends. In my experience I have had to break three rules.The three rules are as follows: Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust and Don’t Feel.
When I began attending 12 step support meetings in August of 1986, I heard these rules discussed by the people attending the meetings. At first, these three statements sounded like clichés. As I continued to attend meetings and listened to what people shared I started to understand how these three rules laid the foundation for many dysfunctional behaviors and beliefs. When I first heard these rules discussed I was isolated, afraid of being rejected and in a frozen emotional state.
Through attending meetings and becoming involved in my own recovery process, I slowly became aware of how these rules had pillaged my existence. As I continued to attend meeting, and listened to other people as they shared their experience, strength and hope I started to thaw emotionally. In the process, I discovered how important talking, trusting and feeling would be to my healing process. As I continued to attend meetings I arrived at some definite conclusions.
I am an adult. I am responsible for my happiness and well-being. Blaming anyone does me no good because I am the only one who can live my life. Pointing fingers in anyone’s direction does no one any good. I came to realize that if nothing changes it will remain the same. I came to realize that I was the one who needed to change. I did not arrive at these conclusions over night, but over the years. Like I heard said in meetings, “It just takes what it takes”. It just took what it took for me to get busy.
In my experience, I discovered that pain was my friend. Pain motivated me to make changes.
To read Part 2 of the article click on the following link How to Heal Spiritually, Emotionally and Physically — Break the Three Unspoken Rules Part 2
Here is my Contact page. Send comments and questions and I will respond to you.
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