In the 1st Part of this series, I introduced an awareness that I had, in the 2nd Part of this series I shared how I had come to realize the I needed help and a plan. In the 3rd Part of this series, I shared some awareness’s of how the taskmaster had undermined my emotional and spiritual energy and now in in the 4th Part of this series I will share some benefits that I gained through using the plan that I spoke about in Part 2 of this series.
I will share some of these benefits with you in bullet form.
- By addressing my critical attitudes, negativity, anger and resentments — toward both myself and other people — I was able to begin to learn where other people ended and where I began with respect to my responsibility. In the process, I was able to begin to embrace my individuality and begin to stop feeling responsible for other people.
- By starting to do the work through a recovery process, I started to understand and see the value in breaking free the 3 rules by learning to talk, trust and feel. In the process, I was able to slowly stop rejecting myself as an individual. In the process, I was able to start owning the parts of myself that I had discarded and rejected to avoid being shamed.
- As I started to own myself – by talking, trusting and feeling and by keeping the focus on myself – I began to realize what occurred in my life, was meant for my good and not for my harm, i.e. not punitive, but empowering. With my realization, I started to look for the lessons in what occurred in my life. I started to see my learning process through learning curves.
- As I started to see the value of what occurred in my life, I began to view my circumstances in a different light. I began to see my circumstances as gifts, given to me to teach me lessons that would prepare me for opportunities that would in turn encourage, motivate and empower my life. I began to realize that my circumstances were meant to build me up.
- When I started to see my circumstances as lessons to prepare me for opportunities, to teach me more lessons and thus prepare me for more opportunities I had a spiritual awakening. I began to understand that my circumstances, experiences, lessons and opportunities were being used collectively as guides to point me to my destiny.
- Through my spiritual awakening, I began to understand that I could function and create beyond the box of my self imposed confinement – created by my critical attitudes, my anger, my resentments and my feelings of being alienated. I began to realize that I could begin to function and create beyond my fear of failure.
- Through my spiritual awakening, I began to see myself on a journey — through a process – in which I could be free from the demands of the taskmaster called perfectionism. I began to understand that I could find freedom from the limiting messages that shame told me. I began to realize that I did not have to do more to be more – to be enough.
- Through my spiritual awakening and through my experience I began to realize that I could pursue excellence, rather than being driven by the taskmaster. With my realization that I could pursue excellence, instead of perfection, I began to see that I no longer had to view my performance in black and whites or all or none. I no longer had to judge my efforts.
- Through my spiritual awakening, I began to see the God of my understanding as a loving God — who is not mad at me, but is madly in love with me. I began to realize that I could pray for the knowledge of His will, and trust Him with the outcomes through working the 3rd and 11th steps. I began to realize that I could let go of control and trust the process.
For many years, the taskmaster kept me believing that I was a mistake and who I was and what I had little to give was of little value. I am very grateful that I reached a spiritual and emotional bottom, because my pain motivated me to look for a way out. I am so thankful that I took the steps to move beyond the confines of the box imposed on me by the taskmaster – in which I felt trapped with out a chance of escape. I share my experience with you to encourage you to do the work and to take the steps to move beyond the confines of the box of the taskmaster, in which you may feel trapped with out a chance of escape.
I am so glad that I took the steps to move beyond the confines of the box and the limiting scripts set forth by shame. I am so glad that I took the risk – to move beyond my fear of failure – to create my web log Second Chance to Live on February 6, 2007. Second Chance to Live has clearly dispelled the lies purported by taskmaster and shame. My encouragement to you my friend is that you take a risk to move beyond your fear of failure. Begin to use your gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for you, to move beyond the confines of the box, to dispel the lies that the taskmaster and shame have purported about you.
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