As I examined the lie, I discovered that I had an arch nemesis. I discovered that my arch nemesis was perfectionism.
In my search for the truth – to be set free from the lie – I discovered that my inability to be at peace with myself was because of the voice of perfectionism. I discovered that perfectionism played a subversive role in the undermining of my sense of adequacy and my sense of security. Perfectionism, in essence, played the role of a critical parent who intentionally sought to scold, reprimand and criticize my best efforts. Perfectionism kept me subservient through subjecting me to approval seeking and people pleasing.
Perfectionism manipulated me through shame. Perfectionism scolded and reprimanded me for not being enough,“You Should Have Already Mastered Everything”.
Perfectionism conditioned me to believe that I deserved to be criticized and shamed regardless of my efforts. Perfectionism conditioned me to believe that I should also join in the efforts to criticize, belittle and minimize my efforts, as well as who I was as a person. Perfectionism — in collusion with my inner critic – kept me striving as I attempted to meet the expectations of other critical people. Unknowingly, in my attempt to satisfy the demands of perfectionism and the critical voices in my life, I lost myself.
Because I used much my time and energy to appease the critics in my life – in an attempt to find peace – I had little time to notice, address or deal with elephants as they appeared in my life. Through a series of events, I reached an emotional bottom which led me to discover what I had been doing to myself. With my spiritual awakening, I slowly began to break free from the constraints set forth by my arch nemesis. In the process, I began to slowly step back from the demands set forth by critical people.
As I broke free from the constraints set forth by perfectionism, I found peace. As I stepped back from the demands of critical people, I began to experience my life in a whole new way. I found that doing no longer had to be done perfectly. As I broke free from the grasp of perfectionism, I discovered that I could overcome my fear of failure. Through my process, I discovered that I could overcome my fear of failure by securing the lens of manageable bites and by remembering that I am the manager of those bites.
I have been able to overcome my fear of failure, by remembering that I am in process.
“Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.” Zig Ziglar
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