Through my process, I discovered that the shame bully echoed the voice of perfectionism — at my every move. The voice of perfectionism crippled, devalued, minimized and marginalized who I was and what I had to contribute.
Through my recovery process and my pain I discovered that my ability to heal and grow in my mind, body and spirit were hindered by the voice of fear of failure. Perfectionism cut with a two edge sword — telling me my efforts were not good enough and that I should not try because I would probably fail. Shame also stymied my efforts by threatening me with the fear that I would be abandoned physically and emotionally if I did not do things perfectly.
At the core of my being the fear of abandonment kept me enslaved by the bully. Because the bully was unrelenting I had no idea that there was life beyond the drama. I had no idea how much energy I was using to avoid being attacked by the bully.
Through my recovery process and pain I began to recognize that my internal energy was being drained in my attempt to avoid being attacked by the bully. Through recognizing how shame was draining my life, I was motivated to look for solutions. These solutions helped me to begin to heal emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Through my recovery process and my pain I discovered that there were three rules that enforced the power of the bully. Please read my article Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust and Don’t Feel for more insight.
Please read Part 4 for context. Thank you.
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