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Second Chance to Live

Empowering the Individual, Not the Brain Injury

Traumatic Brain Injury, the Bully and Perfectionism Part 3

April 25, 2010 By Second Chance to Live Leave a Comment

Traumatic Brain Injury, the Bully and Perfectionism
Traumatic Brain Injury, the Bully and Perfectionism

Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 and Part 7. Thank you.


Through my process, I discovered that the shame bully echoed the voice of perfectionism — at my every move. The voice of perfectionism crippled, devalued, minimized and marginalized who I was and what I had to contribute.


Through my recovery process and my pain I discovered that my ability to heal and grow in my mind, body and spirit were hindered by the voice of fear of failure. Perfectionism cut with a two edge sword — telling me my efforts were not good enough and that I should not try because I would probably fail. Shame also stymied my efforts by threatening me with the fear that I would be abandoned physically and emotionally if I did not do things perfectly.


At the core of my being the fear of abandonment kept me enslaved by the bully.  Because the bully was unrelenting I had no idea that there was life beyond the drama. I had no idea how much energy I was using to avoid being attacked by the bully.


Through my recovery process and pain I began to recognize that my internal energy was being drained in my attempt to avoid being attacked by the bully. Through recognizing how shame was draining my life, I was motivated to look for solutions. These solutions helped me to begin to heal emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Through my recovery process and my pain I discovered that there were three rules that enforced the power of the bully.

For more insight into the three rules, please read my article by clicking on this link:  Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust and Don’t Feel.


Please read Part 4 of Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully by clicking on this link: Part 4. Thank you.


 You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however, I maintain ownership of the intellectual property AND my articles, video presentations, and eBooks are not to be considered OPEN SOURCE. Please also provide a link back to Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. I look forward to hearing from you. More Information: Copyright 2007 –2018.

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Filed Under: Building Self-Esteem after Brain Injury Tagged With: abuse and neglect, Acquired Brain Injury, Adult Children of Alcoholics, brain injured soldiers, Brain Injury, Caregivers, celebrities with brain injuries, cerebral vascular accident, characteristics of traumatic brain injury, Closed Head Injury, Department of Defence, Department of Veteran Affairs, family, Finding Freedom From Perfectionism, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, Fulfilling your Destiny, head injury, Invisible Disability, learning disabilities, living my destiny, Living with a Disability, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with an Invisible Disability, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, perfectionism, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Revealing your Destiny, self-esteem, Self-Respect, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injury, stroke, Subdural Hematoma, traumatic / acquired brain injury, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Traumatic Brain Injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, traumatic brain injury Iraq, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, What is my Destiny?

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