Please read the Introduction to this article on Part 1 as I wrote Traumatic Brain Injury and Denial — My Perspective as a TBI Survivor 2 1/2 years ago. Thank you.
Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4 before reading Part 5. Thank you.
And now for Part 5.
Traumatic Brain Injury and Denial— My Perspective as a TBI Survivor Part 5
Over the next 3 months I was transitioned out of my job as a rehabilitation counselor into the role of a client or consumer of services. As you might imagine, this period of time in my life provided confusion and depression.
After being given my own rehabilitation counselor, I was scheduled to undergo another EEG. My counselor also arranged for me to undergo a neuro psyche evaluation. The results from the EEG confirmed that I had some brain damage. I then met with the neuro psychologist to complete the neuro psychological evaluation. Several weeks after I completed the evaluation, I received a detailed report of his findings. The long and the short of the findings showed that I was functioning at a level above my abilities. The second revelation that the neuro psychologist shared in his report raised a key question. He stated that I had somehow had been able to obtain both my undergraduate and graduate degrees despite my cognitive and psycho social deficits. The Dr. went on to say in his report that he attributed my success to sheer persistence and motivation.
When I said his report raised a key question, I was not making an understatement. How could I be able to obtain my undergraduate, graduate degree, as well as my national credentials as a certified rehabilitation counselor, but not be able to function at an undergraduate or master’s level in the work force. The conclusions drawn by the neuro psychologist seemed to be in direct contradiction with what I had been able to accomplish. His findings did not make any sense to me. I was both frustrated and bewildered after reading his report.
When I shared the results of the tests with my family they all thought the neuro psychologist did not know what he was talking about concerning my level of functioning. For the next 3 to 4 years I continued to work under the assumption that the neuro psychologist findings were rubbish. My parents and brother continued to concur with the assumption that the reason I was having difficulty maintaining employment was because I did not try hard enough. Nevertheless, I continued to get and lose jobs.
Even after I had been declared disabled, part of me continued to believe that my parents and my brother were right and the test results were bogus. What made matters worse for me was that I berated myself for my inability to maintain employment. My Dad also mercilessly criticized my inability to get along with people. His denial crushed my ability to love and accept who I was in the face of what I could not understand. My Dad wanted to believe that if he pushed me hard enough that I would straighten up.
Please read Part 6, Part 7 for context. Thank you.
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Harvey Myers says
Just a quick message to state how much I relate to what you write. Part 5 here in particular. It’s always a struggle to find the right balance between indepenant research and the sometimes uneducated opinions of those we depend on for support. I relate very deeply to your struggle and find your articles very helpful in keeping myself centered in my struggle to achieve maximum recovery.
I didn’t even know TBI was part and parcel of my struggle for 12 years becuase severe chronic pain was my focus. Until NeuroCranail Restructuring all but ended my pain and need for pain meds, i never gave it a thought, but it’s become a clear impediment to my recovery. There are great strides being made in understanding the nature of TBI/MTBI today, and there is a lot of misunderstanding and entrenched thinking and opinion about it as well. Articles like yours are the key to opening minds.
Thank you for all you do
Harvey Myers
secondchancetolive says
Hello Harvey,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to write to me. I greatly appreciate your kindness. Thank you for what you shared. I have 2 more parts to the article that I will be publishing in the next several days Harvey. I agree with you concerning the mis-information, the minimization and marginalization. Sad but true my friend. I find this among many of the individuals that I interact with through Second Chance to Live and beyond. As you shared in your email, articles like mine open people’s minds.
In my experience I have found that testimonials open people’s minds to be willing to understand and empathetic. With this in mind I have a favor to ask of you Harvey. Would you be so kind to write a testimony to be included on my Testimonial / Endorsement Page https://secondchancetolive.org/testimonialsendorsements/ Harvey. By doing so you would validate — in your experience — how Second Chance to Live has impacted your life and experience. By writing a testimonial you would encourage individuals to spend time reading articles from Second Chance to Live.
Please feel free to visit my Testimonial / Endorsement Page to read what others have said over time. Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
Have a great day and God bless both you and your family Harvey.
Craig