Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Several days ago I received a request to address a topic. I will do so in this article. Anguish brought on by mental and physical fatigue. Thank you for the request.
In life, perspective plays a big role in how I experience circumstances and events. For many years I viewed circumstances and events as punitive or consequences for not being enough. My perspective skewed my ability to be at peace — with God, other people and myself. In my attempt to overcompensate for believing that I was not enough I strove all the more to prove that I was enough. My perspective perpetuated an ongoing state of anxiety which resulted in my experiencing anguish.
Anguish — as defined by Merriam-Webster — is to inflict with distress, suffering and pain. I experienced distress, suffering and pain through absorbing criticism for not being enough — from other people as well as from my internal critic. In the process I experienced ongoing anxiety.
Through my recovery work as a traumatic brain injury survivor I discovered that mental, emotional and physical fatigue are common characteristics of traumatic brain injury. I also discovered that as a person experiences ongoing mental, emotional and physical fatigue their sense of worth and value erodes over time. Because I did not know how my life and my world had been impacted by my traumatic brain injury — for many years — I turned my fatigue and anxiety inward which resulted in my experiencing anguish.
Through my recovery work I discovered a sad reality. For many years I had turned my fatigue, anxiety and anguish inward as anger toward myself. As I turned my anger inward I experienced depression — anger turned inward brings about depression. My depression reinforced my anguish which reinforced my perspective of not being enough.
Fatigue — feeling of being less than — bringing about anxiety — producing anguish — leading to anger turned inwards — resulting in depression — reinforcing fatigue, anxiety, depression and anger — perpetuating my perspective of not being enough.
Please read Part 2 and Part 3 for context. Thank you.
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