As I became aware of how shame was impacting my life I made a decision. I decided to gain as much information as I could about shame and guilt. Two books were of tremendous benefit in my quest to be free of the effects shame. I will list these two books below my epilogue at the conclusion of this series.
I discovered that there was a stark difference between shame and guilt. A person feels guilt when they make a mistake. When a person feels guilt they can do something to assuage their guilt — by making an amends. Shame on the other hand is a being wound. The individual does not believe that they make mistakes, but that they are mistakes. With shame the individual not only feels as though they make mistakes but that they are a mistake.
… so they strive all the more in an attempt to not feel like a mistake.
In my experience, I began to heal emotionally and spiritually when I was able to start replacing the filters of old with new filters. I began to heal emotionally and spiritually when I began to realize that I was not a mistake. I began to heal emotionally and spiritually when I stopped buying into the notion that I was responsible for rather than to other people. I began to heal emotionally and spiritually when I stopped placing judgment on my circumstances and my experiences. I began to heal emotionally and spiritually when I started to believe that my good was good enough.
I discovered that I needed to change the way in which I framed and filtered my circumstances and experiences. I discovered that I needed to stop judging my circumstances and experiences. I needed to start believing that my good was good enough.
Through my new filters I slowly began understand that my circumstances and experiences were given to me as gifts not as gauntlets to survive. With my understanding I began to see my circumstances and experiences as teachers instead of taskmasters — given to me to point me in the direction of my destiny. I began to realize that my circumstances and experiences were / are opportunities given to me to build me up, not to tear or keep me down. I began to realize that my circumstances and experiences were / are occurring for my good. I began to realize that I could trust the process.
I began to realize that I no longer needed to or had to buy into the notion that I am a victim. With my awareness I began to realize that I could chose to live my life as an empowered being because of my circumstance and experiences. With my awareness I began to realize that I could chose to spend time with people, groups and organizations who / that would enhance, rather than hinder my relationships — with God, other people and myself.
Please read Part 4 for context. Thank you.
Receive more articles like this one simply by clicking on Subscribe to Second Chance to Live by email.
Subscribe to Second Chance to Live, Bookmark and Share Second Chance to Live with your friends through a Feed Reader
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA