Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. Over the past several days I have been struggling with some depression. As I shared my struggle I began to realize that I was in the process of grieving on a deeper level.
Note: In Kubler-Ross’s book, On Death and Dying she addresses the 5 stages of grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In my experience I have found that my grieving is not limited to the loss of a loved one or friend. Consequently, the 5 stages of grieving can be applied to any loss — whether perceived or real.
When I heard of these 5 stages of the grieving process my sadness took on a new meaning. I began to realize that I could use my sadness, instead of being used by my sadness. I could grieve my loss and use my sadness as an opportunity — an opportunity to find a new freedom.
In my process I came to realize that my sadness was meant to be an indicator. In my process I came to understand that my depression was meant to point me in the direction of my dreams. In my process I came to realize that my sadness was meant to catalyze healthy change.
I found that my emotional pain was not something to run away from, but instead something to embrace. I found that my emotional pain, my sadness and my depression could be used for my good. Consequently, I made the decision to use my depression to empower my process instead of allowing my depression to be for naught.
Please read Part 2 of 2 for context. Thank you.
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Ellie says
Thank you for taking the time to post this blog. It is interesting that I came upon this blog about “destiny” I was speaking with one of my sisters about how life has turned out for me so far. She stated, “you have a destiny..do not fight it. Things happen for a reason”. I have to learn to embrace that theory.
I keep comparing myself to all my sisters and friends who are married and have children. They have a purpose in life;their families. I feel I have nothing to keep me motivated. No one really needs me. They are all taken care of by spouses and children.
I am always being told how great a person I am, but I am eternally single,living alone,and have to deal with lonliness most of the time.
I keep myself pretty busy at work and voluntering,but when I get home I cannot stand the aloneness. I turn on the TV for background noise to distract my thoughts,etc. I am starting to feel like a weird-o at times. I feel like an oddball really. lol
I have to work on this whole thing..one step at a time.
secondchancetolive says
Hi Ellie,
You are welcome and thank you for taking the time to write to me. I appreciate your kindness. I believe I can empathize with you Ellie. I too am single, however I have learned that it is in my best interest to not force solutions. Through my process I have come to realize several truths. In my experience, I have found that I do not have the big picture, nor can I see behind the scenes to see how the God of my understanding is working on my behalf. I have also found that I am thankful for unanswered prayers. If I had gotten my will — concerning relationships — I would have gotten myself into a “jack pot” of emotional pain and disappointment. I am reminded that I need to learn to have a relationship with myself, before I can have a healthy relationship with a significant other. I have found that if I am trying to get my needs met through another person — through a relationship — I may find that I have taken a hostage instead of developing a friendship with a romantic relationship. I am learning as I go Ellie.
Could I encourage you to read through articles in my Site Map https://secondchancetolive.org/site-map/. You may find that you are able to identify with me, as well as find comfort through what I have written. I have close to 490 articles listed in my Site Map. Some of the articles have traumatic brain injury or living with a disability in their titles, however the principles and ideas that I share with in those articles can be helpful to anyone. May I suggest start out by reading my article, *The Power of Identification* https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/04/18/the-power-of-identification/. As you read through my articles write down any questions that you have and send them to me and I will respond.
I need to remember that God’s timing is the best timing and that I need to trust the process Ellie. More will be revealed…in time. Take comfort in that reality. I need to also remember not to judge my insides by other people’s outsides because I have no idea what other people may be struggling with too. What I see may not be real to them.
I will say so long for now. Have a pleasant day and God bless you Ellie. Remember God does not make junk. You are His prized possession.
Craig