Please read Part 1 for context. Thank you.
After browsing through the journal for all of about 1 minute handed the journal back to me with out comment or expression. Initially I was stunned by the person’s indifference, but after taking my seat I realized that I had just been given a gift.
The gift opened my eyes and I finally realized that this individual was not able to be present for me.
As I thought about my “ah ha” moment I remembered some thing a friend told me. Some people are like hardware stores. They do not stock bread.Consequently, no matter how many times I may go to them hoping to find bread — be validated or get my needs met — I will come away dejected, empty handed and disappointed.
As my eyes were opened to the reality that this person was a — for me — “hardware store” I had another spiritual awakening. I could stop going to this individual looking to find bread.
With my awakening I finally realized that I could let go of my need to have and gain their validation or approval. Instead of being frustrated and disappointed — because this person could not give to me — I made the decision to stop looking to this person to give to me what they appeared not to possess — without judging the person.
With my awakening I realized that I could let go of my hurt and disappointment. I could let go of my expectation that this person could give to me what I wanted. I could make the decision to celebrate the good news with my friends. I could choose to see the proverbial glass as half full rather than half empty.
The gift of my awakening gave me the ability to practice healthy self-care. Consequently, I decided to practice live and let live. I decided to detach from my expectation that this individual could be present for me. I decided to be thankful for my friends — who were capable and interested in being present for me.
With my awakening I made the decision to be present for myself. With my awakening I found a new freedom.
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