Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. Please remember that you are always welcome around my table. In March of 2008 I wrote the below article. I feel led to revisit that article. Because of the length of the original article I have decided to present the article in 2 Parts. Below is Part 1. Have a simply phenomenal day. Craig
Please make sure to read Part 2 of this article for the conclusion. Thank you.
Good afternoon and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am glad you decided to stop by and visit with me. For the past several days I have been experiencing some unrest. In my unrest I found myself becoming anxious and fearful. In my state of mind I opened the door to feeling less than, inadequate and unlovable. As the door stayed open I allowed the recipe of fear and doubt to delude me into believing that my good was simply not good enough.
You see I allowed myself to slip back into believing that because I was not experiencing specific outcomes there was something wrong with me. Like a knee jerk reaction from of old, I experienced debilitating shame. Shame for not being “good” enough. In my attempt to invalidate my sense shame — that who I am and what I do is enough — I found myself comparing myself to other people. In my comparing I found myself experiencing a series of reactions.
None of these reactions provided a reprieve or alleviated my sense of inadequacy. Instead these reactions perpetuated the notion that I needed to answer, defend, and explain who I am to my sense of shame. Because I felt inadequate I experienced some jealousy toward some of my peers, who I perceive are receiving more opportunities than I am in life. I then experienced some frustration because I felt powerless.
In my powerlessness I bought into the notion that I needed to do more to be more in order to be given more. In my delusion I lost sight of my being. As I lost sight of my being, I found myself becoming competitive in an attempt to overcompensate for my insecurities.
Please read Part 2 for context. Thank you.
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