I discovered that I needed to examine and replace my mis-guided and distorted perceptions — which in practice alienated me from the God of my understanding. With my awareness, I discovered that I needed to identify what enhanced and hindered my ability to trust the God of my understanding.
To do so I realized that I needed to pay close attention to the factors that contributed to, or distracted from my capacity and willingness to trust. In my experience, I needed to take note of the impact my relationships were having upon my ability and capacity to trust. Through my examination I realized that I needed to make significant changes.
With my awareness, I came to realize that I needed to separate myself from the individuals, groups, organizations and even churches that seemingly undermined my ability to trust. Through my experience I came to realize that these individuals, groups, organizations and churches were not good for me.
Not that they were bad, just not good for me.
Through my experience I came to realize that my interactions with these individuals, groups, organizations and even churches produced more anxiety and uncertainty in me than faith. Rather than trusting and being transparent, I felt alienated by a sense of shame and guilt whenever I took the risk to trust and be transparent.
Rather than drawing me closer to the God of my understanding I felt alienated by a sense of shame and guilt whenever I took the risk to trust and be transparent. Rather than feeling safe and secure — by trusting and being transparent — I felt as though I wanted to hide.
Please read Part 3 for context. Thank you.
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