Throughout my life, I experienced many twists and turns. Many times, those twists and turns made little sense to me. In response I became a reactor rather than an actor in my life. In the process, I felt like the proverbial pinball ricocheting off a series of disappointments and resentments. My reactions frequently left me feeling helpless. In my attempts to compensate for my feeling helpless I used huge amounts of time and energy attempting endure and survive my reactions.
I spent much of my time and energy attempting to endure and survive my reactions to people, places and things in an attempt to feel safe and secure.
Through my reactions I reached a point in my life. I became sick and tired of how my reactions were impacting my life and my world. In my process I came to a conclusion. I no longer wanted to merely be a reactor to life. I no longer wanted to feel beat up by my reactions. With my decision, I decided to embark in a new way of living. Consequently, I began investing my time and energy into determining why I reacted to various people, places and things.
Through my inquiry, I discovered that I was the common denominator in all these encounters and interactions. I discovered that my reactions — to what occurred in and around my life — were of my own choosing.
With time and through my recovery process, I came to understand that I was powerless over the people, places, and things — that were apart of my life. With my awareness I began to realize that the reactions that I had — toward people, places and things — were more about me than about me than they were about anyone or anything. With my discovery I became aware. Although I was powerless over people, places and things I could choose to examine why was reacting to those people, places and things.
By keeping the focus on myself I could choose to learn and grow from my reactions to people, places and things — because my reactions were not about the people, places and things. My reactions were because of my biases, prejudices and what I thought I needed to deny — to survive.
Today’s Thought
Although I may not like the people, places or things that I encounter — as I live my life — I need to remember that I am not helpless. With my reactions I can choose to learn and grow from those reactions. I can choose to work through my reactions. I can choose to move beyond my biases, prejudices and denial. I can choose to be empowered by my reactions. I can choose to create my reality.
Consequently, whenever I find myself reacting to what occurs in and around my life I can ask myself a simple question: “Why?” By asking why, I can choose to create my reality.
Receive more articles like this one simply by clicking on Subscribe to Second Chance to Live by email.
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA
Leave a Reply