Throughout my life, I experienced many twists and turns. Many times, those twists and turns made little sense to me. In response I became a reactor rather than an actor in my life. In the process, I felt like the proverbial pinball ricocheting off a series of disappointments and resentments. My reactions frequently left me feeling helpless. In my attempts to compensate for my feeling helpless I used huge amounts of time and energy attempting endure and survive my reactions.
I spent much of my time and energy attempting to endure and survive my reactions to people, places and things in an attempt to feel safe and secure.
Through my reactions I reached a point in my life. I became sick and tired of how my reactions were impacting my life and my world. In my process I came to a conclusion. I no longer wanted to merely be a reactor to life. I no longer wanted to feel beat up by my reactions. With my decision, I decided to embark in a new way of living. Consequently, I began investing my time and energy into determining why I reacted to various people, places and things.
Through my inquiry, I discovered that I was the common denominator in all these encounters and interactions. I discovered that my reactions — to what occurred in and around my life — were of my own choosing.
With time and through my recovery process, I came to understand that I was powerless over the people, places, and things — that were apart of my life. With my awareness I began to realize that the reactions that I had — toward people, places and things — were more about me than about me than they were about anyone or anything. With my discovery I became aware. Although I was powerless over people, places and things I could choose to examine why was reacting to those people, places and things.
By keeping the focus on myself I could choose to learn and grow from my reactions to people, places and things — because my reactions were not about the people, places and things. My reactions were because of my biases, prejudices and what I thought I needed to deny — to survive.
Although I may not like the people, places or things that I encounter — as I live my life — I need to remember that I am not helpless. With my reactions I can choose to learn and grow from those reactions. I can choose to work through my reactions. I can choose to move beyond my biases, prejudices and denial. I can choose to be empowered by my reactions. I can choose to create my reality.
Consequently, whenever I find myself reacting to what occurs in and around my life I can ask myself a simple question: “Why?” By asking why, I can choose to create my reality.
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