Please Read Part 1 for context. Thank you.
As I waited for him to let me know he was on his way, I knew that I had this resentment of him, but could tell that the resentment was weighing me down. As I worked on my computer a novel idea came to mind. Why not forgive my friend. At first I balked at the idea, but then realized that I also am in need of forgiveness — on a regular basis. After entertaining that thought for about 2 minutes I decide to forgive my friend. After making the decision to forgive him the anger and resentment that I had toward him left — poof.
Remarkably the anger and resentment that I had held onto — toward my friend — lost its power. Through the process of giving and experiencing the power of forgiveness, I was able to switch the focus from my friend and his perspectives to what I know to be true about me, my reality and what I bring to relationships.
As I forgave my friend I let go of the poison that was seeing to limit my life. By letting go of my anger and resentment, I experienced a shift in my heart. I no longer had a need to prove to him that he was wrong. Through forgiving my friend I was able to release my distrust of him because it dawned on me that I did not have buy into his perspective. As a mentor of mine reminded me, what he said and thought of me did not me it so. Through forgiving my friend I was able to make wise and healthy choices.
Through forgiving my friend, I was able to let go of my need to defend myself. Through forgiving my friend I was able to let go of my need to have his approval and validation. Through forgiving my friend the sting of being minimized and marginalized left me. Through forgiving my friend, I was been able to let go of my need to be right or to make him wrong. Through forgiving my friend I was able to take back my power. Through forgiving my friend, I was able have a pleasant visit with him when he arrived at my home.
Through forgiving my friend I was able to experience the Power of Forgiveness.
Nevertheless, by forgiving my friend that does not mean that I am going to tolerate unacceptable behavior from him in the future. When and if I feel minimized or marginalized — by him — in the future I will let him know how I feel.
Note: When and if I need to confront my friend, I will intentionally use the principle of saying what I mean, but not being mean when I say it to him. By doing so, my friend and I will both be able to maintain our dignity.
Receive more articles like this one simply by clicking on Subscribe to Second Chance to Live by email.
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA