Below is the first part of an article that I wrote approximately one and a half years ago. My motivation in reprinting the article is to illustrate a lesson that learned through my struggle living with an invisible disability. Hopefully my experience will be of benefit to you my friend. Have a pleasant day. Craig
Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by and visit with me. I am a bit flustered today with what has been going on in my world. I am doing the best I know how to do with my set of circumstances. I make decisions that are based upon previous experience and I seek to live a life of personal responsibility and accountability. Nevertheless, over the past week I found myself being placed between a rock and a hard place. If I agreed I would be jeered along the way and if I disagreed I would be shunned. I found myself in an all too familiar double bind.
The double bind becomes apparent when I interact with individuals in group 2 and group 3 as explained in My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability Revisited –Part 1. Although I attempt to educate people with in those groups as to the nature of my disability, for some reason they can not or will not accept that I have legitimate deficits and limitations. Nevertheless, in many instances when I interact with people within groups 2 and 3 they still want me to function as a person without deficits and limitations. What makes matters more difficult for me is that when I interact with individuals in groups 2 and 3 I am held responsible for not being able to live up to their expectations. Often times I am blamed, shamed or put in the position of being a scapegoat for matters that are out of my control and thus the double bind.
Based on my awareness and acceptance I attempted to negotiate a win-win outcome. In the process of attempting to negotiate an amicable course of action the other person became incensed with me. My attempts to negotiate a win-win outcome were discarded as unacceptable. After I stated how a win-win outcome could be obtained, our conversation became heated. In the process of attempting to prove my point I got caught up in justifying, answering and defending my position. Angry words were exchanged before the conversation ended. Several hours later I contacted that individual and apologized for my part of the verbal exchange.
Please read Part 2 for context. Thank you.
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