Family Systems Theory helped me to understand the concept of family system roles. Through my research and study I discovered that there are many different types of roles that each member of the family can either be assigned — through conditioning — or assumed for various reasons. My experience taught me that I needed to identify the role that I played with in the family system, in order to change my behaviors and break free from the yoke of the role.
Some of these roles include being the “Family Hero”, the “Mascot”, the “Scapegoat” , the “Lost Child”, the “Pretty One”, the “Poet”. Each one of these roles — as previously discussed — are given or assumed to shield the family system from having to talk, trust and feel and thus address the “pink elephant”.
In your family system you may have also been given a role.You may have unconsciously assumed the role in an attempt to avoid being criticize or abused in other ways. You may have participated in the role in order to be loved or get love. In the process, the role may have conditioned you to believe that you are the role. Consequently, you may have no idea who you are in this life. You may believe that you are a victim to be victimized. You may feel trapped and isolated.
You may find that you were either assigned or you assumed a role with in the family before or after you experienced your brain injury. The reality is that the role is not your identify or something that wanted. Unconsciously you adopted that role in order to survive the chaos and uncertainty in your family. You like myself, may have stayed in that role to avoid both emotional and physical abandonment. Consequently, you may believe that you have to remain in that role even though you are an adult.
The good news is that you can break free from that role. You don’t have to be alone in your struggle my friend. You can reach out to other people through various support groups. You can learn to talk, trust and feel. You can learn to accept yourself. You can break free from the role that once kept you in denial. You can find your true self. You can find the parts of yourself that you have discarded. You can learn to soar.
You can move from being a survivor to a thrivor in life.
You can reach out to other people through various support groups and you can break from the role that has kept you in denial. You can find a safe place. You can learn to trust the process, a loving God and yourself.
For further information, please read my 2 part series Traumatic Brain Injury, Denial and Limiting Scripts , Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel and Are You Caught in the Headlights of Life?
If you have any questions, please let me know and I will be available to you my friend.
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