Please read Part 1 . Thank you.
When personal responsibility is dismissed as trivial, trust is repeatedly thrashed upon the rocks of disillusioned and disappointment. Hope is also squashed beneath disdain and denial. Resentments become the anesthetic that justifies and defends irrational behavior. Struggle becomes the focus, while a virtual strangle hold is placed upon empowerment and creative expression. Slowly the person drowns beneath the under tow of contempt and bitterness.
Consequently, disregard becomes the standard operating procedure in the attempt to force solutions. Expectations dictate the quality of the relationship. Self-serving and self-absorption became the drivers. Power struggles ensue and become the vehicle to assert ones will.
Through my own recovery process, I have gained the above insights. I have also come to understand that I am a separate and unique individual. Although this statement may seem naïve, when I do not own and respect my need to have, maintain and respect boundaries, I lose me. I slowly acquiesce to being controlled and manipulated by strong willed individuals. When I respect my other people’s boundaries, I am able to practice live and let live
When I maintain healthy boundaries, I am able to keep the focus on what is my business and what is not my business. When I mind my own business the stress associated with trying to change others and/or be controlled by them vanishes. I no longer have to be right.
Boundaries help me to define what is my responsibility when interacting with other people. Being accountable to other people and myself empowers my relationships. I am able to let people have the dignity for their choices. I no longer need to take on responsibility that does not belong to me. Consequently, I am able to be responsible to other people, but not for their choices.
Boundaries are meant to keep me in, not to shut other people out of my life. Through maintaining healthy boundaries, I am able to keep the focus on me, while respecting other people and their choices. In the process I am able to develop self-respect because I am able to be distinguish who I am.
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