Hello friend and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Over the weekend I attended a Christmas party that is held each year by a local organization for traumatic brain injury survivors. I was happy to have the opportunity to have been invited and that I took the opportunity to attend. After arriving at the party I began introducing myself to various people.
Of these individuals, I sought to speak with the director of the program that sponsored the party.
I sought to speak with the director of the program because I believed I needed to make an amends with her. When we had an opportunity to speak I asked her, ‘If I offended you in the past please forgive me.” You see the last time that I interacted with her and her assistant was approximately 7 -8 years ago. My interaction with her had occurred in the aftermath of my involvement with the institute of rehabilitation — where I received vocational rehabilitation services some 12 years ago.
During my conversation with the director she stated that what she remembered of our interactions — was that I was very angry. When she spoke those words it was as if I was teleported back to that time in my life. In the midst of our conversation I had a spiritual awakening. I agreed with her. I asked her to forgive me and she told me there was not a problem. In essence she told me that she detached from my anger at the time.
When she mentioned those words,”…what I remember was that you were a very angry” I had a spiritual awakening. In my awareness I remembered why I had been so angry.
When she spoke those words a light went on and I remembered that I had been very frustrated with myself and with other people. My spiritual awakening revealed that I had been at war with myself and with other people because of my denial and my unrealistic expectations — surrounding my traumatic brain injury and my sense of powerlessness.
After leaving the party and over the past 36 hours I have been reflecting on what the director said during the party. Her words were definitely a gift to me because those words helped me to be aware of the gifts that I have received though working my recovery program.
Her words empowered me to realize how much progress I have made in my recovery process over the past 5-6 years. I do not share my progress with you to draw attention to me but to encourage you to not give up on yourself or your process. More will be revealed to you.
As I continued to reflect upon her words I gained further clarity. These are some of the gifts that I have received during and over the past 5-6 years that have helped me let go of my anger and to learn to live life on life’s terms.
- I am so glad that I have been able to work through my grieving process concerning the losses surrounding my traumatic brain injury.
- I am so happy that I have been able to come to a place of acceptance concerning my traumatic brain injury and myself.
- I am so glad to know that I have come to realize that I am not my disability, my deficits or my limitations.
- I am so glad that I have been able to stop fighting with myself over something that I can not change.
- I am so happy that I no longer need to be driven by unrealistic expectations.
- I am so glad that I have been able to channel the enery that my anger once consumed into my creative genius.
- I am so glad that I can trust the process, a loving God and myself and that I don’t have to know the big picture.
- I am so glad that I am learning to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me, to give to the people who want what I have to give.
- I am so glad that I can be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem.
- I am so glad that I did not give up on myself.
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