Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Through my recovery process I have discovered a life changing reality. For many years I felt like a pinball that was inadvertently bounced from one wall to the other by the rudders of life. In the process, I was led to believe that there was nothing I could do about the way in which I was reacting to life. Consequently, I felt helpless to what was happening in my life.
Through my experience I spent much of my time and energy seeking to endure, survive and then recuperate from the gauntlet of my reactions to what I believed was happening to me. In the process I became a resident reactor in my life. Through a series of events I began to realize what I was doing to myself. Consequently, I made a decision to embark on a new way of living. Through my process I made the decision to explore why I reacted to various people, places and things.
When I took the focus off of other people and began examining why I was reacting — to people, places and things — I discovered that in all my reactions I was the common denominator. In the midst of awareness I slowly came to accept that I was powerless over people, places, and things. Through considering my powerlessness something became abundantly clear to me. Even though I am powerless over people, places, and things I am not powerless over how I choose to react to those people, places and things.
With my awareness and acceptance I have been able to change the way in which I respond to the people, places and situations that are apart of my life. I have discovered that although I may not always like the people, places and things in my life, I have the power to choose. With my power to choose I am able to engage in active — rather than reactive — choices. Through my process I discovered that in order for me to make active or healthy choices in my life, I needed to stop blaming the people, places and things in my life — for the way that I choose to react.
In order to make active rather than reactive choices in my life I had to stop making other people responsible for my reactions. To make active choices I could no longer affix blame to anyone or anything for my choices. I needed to stop reacting to people, places and things in order to be able to keep the focus on myself.
As I keep the focus on myself I am capable of making the choice to learn from my reactions. By choosing to learn from my reactions –rather than blaming my reactions on anyone or anything — I am able to respond to the people, places and things that become a part of my life. By keeping the focus on myself I am able to harness the the power of my reactions.
Consequently, I am able to draw from the well of my experience — because of my reactions — instead of being bruised because of my reactions.
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA
Leave a Reply