Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. You are always welcome around my table. Last night, after a meeting while speaking with a friend I shared a life changing principle. I shared with my friend that I discovered how many of my present day reactions were rooted in the unresolved pain, disappointment and resentment from my past events, situations and circumstances.
I went on to share with my friend that as I take the time to examine why I am reacting to people, places and situations, I am able to make peace with myself. In the process I am able to be peace with other people, because I stop reacting to them in ways that many times has nothing to do with them. I also shared with my friend that as I examine and address the reasons for my reactions I am able to make peace with my past.
When I take responsibility for my reactions I empower my process because I take responsibility for my unresolved pain, disappointment and resentment of the past.
Through being honest with myself, I am able to identify and address my patterns of reacting. As I take responsibility for the way that I react I am able to identify the sources of my pain, disappointment and resentment from my past that I associate with present day events. Consequently, I am able to own why I the react to present day situations and events.
Through becoming aware of how I reacted to similar situations — from my past — I have been able to address the original reason for my pain, disappointment and resentment. As I have been able to address the root reasons for why I react, I have been able to change the way in which I choose to relate to my present day situations, circumstances and events — when they look like something from my past.
By identifying the root of my reaction I am able to change my behavior, as I relate to my present day situations, circumstances and event — even when the look like something from my past.
As we spoke my friend disclosed to me that she recently reacted to her step children in a similar fashion as she had reacted to her brother’s when she was growing up. She acknowledged that the way in which she reacted to her step children was because they reminded her of her brother’s inconsiderate behavior. As we spoke I believe that she realized the need to address and deal with the resentments that she had toward her brothers — so that she would not react in similar fashion to her step children.
She realized that she needed to address the resentments that she held toward her brother’s so that she would not continue to react to her step children — when they remind her of her brothers.
A friend of mine shared something with me some 20 years ago. If nothing changes, it remains the same. I have thought about that saying over the years and have drawn some vibrant conclusions. One of those conclusions is that I need to work on my reactions or they will continue to work on me. I need to be accountable to and for my reactions so that those reactions do not rule my life.
I need to do the work to identify and address my unresolved pain, disappointment and resentment, otherwise that pain, disappointment and resentment will rule my life. I need to do so because I am the only person who can live my life.
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