Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Over the past several days I have been thinking about the concept of an identity. As I have shared in My Journey thus Far, for many years I felt like a man all dressed up with no where to go in life. Although I diligently applied myself to both academic and vocational pursuits I could not find my meaning and purpose.
In my attempt to define my meaning and purpose I sought to fulfill the requirements of specific identities. You see I bought into the notion that “if” I was able to secure an identity “what do you do for a living?” then I could find my place in the world. Due to the invisible nature of my disability, my attempts to secure an identity were frequently met with disappointment. My disappointment arose because I had bought into the notion that the identity would in some how save me — by defining my meaning and purpose.
Nevertheless, each of my attempts to find and secure my identity brought me face to face with yet one more disappointment. Although I applied diligence and persistence to secure my meaning and purpose — through an identity — I consistently found myself confused and bewildered. You see I had bought in to the notion that if I could secure an identity, then my life would matter. What made matters more frustrating for me was that I believed that my identity needed to be esteemed and rewarded by the society in which I lived.
Not only did I need to have an identity to define my meaning and purpose but my identity needed to be esteemed and rewarded by the society in which I lived.
Through my repeated frustration and disappointment — as I attempted to find my meaning and purpose through an identity– my eyes slowly opened to the illusion set for by an identity. I also discovered that as my traumatic / acquired brain injury, deficits and limitations are not meant to define who I am, neither is an identity meant to define who I am in this life. Through my process I discovered that my being was never meant to fulfill the requirements of an identity.
My need to find my meaning and purpose through an identity has been replaced with the pursuit of my passion. My passion longs to direct my path and I am learning to follow my passion. Consequently, I am experiencing my meaning and purpose.
As I experience my meaning and purpose I am released from the need to fulfill the role of an identity. Subsequently, I am learning to direct my passion through my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me. In the process, I am finding that my doing no longer needs to be the driver in my being. Therefore, I no longer need to fulfill the requirements of an identity. Consequently I am being set free from the confines brought about by the pursuit of any identity.
My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you’ll become a general; if you become a monk, you’ll end up as the Pope.” Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. Pablo Picasso
Be your self.
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