Hi and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcome at my table. Approximately 14 months ago I wrote and published an article with in Second Chance Live. Because of a series of comments that I have recently received I decided to reprint part of that article with in this post.
In my experience I allowed rejection to pillage my life for many years until I started to address and confront my denial, anger and resentments. Through my process, I discovered that I needed to be responsible to and for my reactions to life.
Throughout many years of my life, rejection was a very familiar companion. I was battered about on many fronts by this haunting message; “You are not enough”. In my attempts to silence rejection’s echo, people pleasing and approval seeking became a way of life. When this behavior did not interrupt rejection’s clamoring, I progressively internalized rejection’s deliberation: alienation.
Not only did I feel alienated from others, as one cast into dark despair, but more so from myself. Instead of siding with myself, I began siding with those who rejected me. Not only did I side with what they thought; I joined them in their discourse.
Self-criticism progressed to self-hate as I listened to the voice of contempt. As I joined in the confirming of my unworthiness, an emotional cancer ate away at my being. Although I attempted to quell the tide of criticism, I felt defenseless. Debilitating guilt spiraled into debilitating shame. My attempts to invalidate my sense of scorn seemed pointless. I feel into an abyss of isolation.
Thank God that I did not give up on myself or on the process. After beginning my own recovery process, my spiritual eyes started to open. Through active participation in my recovery process, I received a spiritual resuscitation. Slowly, my eyes were opened and I received the treatments, necessary to shrink and then kill the cancer of rejection. Debilitating shame was replaced with self-acceptance and self-love.
Although I may experience rejection from ill-informed people, I no longer need to join in the chorus of their disapproval. I may never “measure up” to the validation of some people, and that is fine with me. I have come to believe that my opinion of me is what matters and I like myself. I now know that my best is good enough. I now recognize the once loud clamoring echo of rejection as a faint whisper. The voice of my value and experience shouts at the whisper, when it attempts to be heard.
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