Hi and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am so happy that you decided to stop by and visit with me. I am honored by your presence. Today I want to begin talking about the process of acceptance.
Through my process of acceptance, I came to a life changing awareness. I found that I could not begin to accept myself and move on with life until I first made peace with the losses that I experienced because of my traumatic brain injury.
In my quest to make peace with those losses I needed to address my sadness. In my experience, I could not just “get over it” without first doing the necessary work. I needed help to be able to identify and address my sadness and frustration so that I could move beyond my sadness and frustration. I needed to identify what I was experiencing so that I could move beyond what could not be changed.
In my experience, I needed to stop avoiding my reality. In Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s book On Death and Dying Elizabeth elaborates on the stages of grieving. In her book, she introduces the 5 stages that people go through as they grieve their loss (s). The first of these 5 stages is denial. Denial is a defense mechanism that protects the individual from having to confront the shock of their loss. Denial manifests itself in various ways. I have heard denial explained as a warm blanket that insulates and shields the individual from having to face their reality. Denial can also be used as a door to shut out, that which is just too painful to address.
Denial can also be used to ignore and avoid what we do not want to confront. Denial can be used to erect a dam to hold back unwanted memories and emotional pain. Denial can be used to suppress body memories. Denial can be used as a disconnect so that our hearts won’t let our head’s know what is or what has happened. Denial can also be used to defend, answer and explain away behaviors that undermine our wellbeings. Denial can also be used to dismiss or invalidate another person’s pain or reality in order to avoid having to interpret or address uncomfortable feelings.
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