Hi and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. You are always welcome around my table. In my article Traumatic Brain Injury and Energy I spoke about my need to address my denial. I went on to share that I needed to clear the channel (s) of my being so that my spiritual and emotional energy could be released to be used in ways to enhance my passion. I discovered — through my process — that I needed to examine beliefs and behaviors as those limiting beliefs and limiting behaviors reinforced my denial.
In my next post, Traumatic Brain Injury, Denial and Limiting Scripts I shared how I realized that my limiting beliefs — fueled by my limiting scripts — nurtured my limiting behaviors. Consequently, I made the decision to consciously confront both my limiting beliefs and my limiting scripts. Through the process of confronting my limiting beliefs and my limiting scripts I have able to begin to practice new behaviors. As I have continued to practice these new behaviors my process and my passion have been empowered.
New behaviors have empowered my process and opened the channel (s) for my spiritual and emotional energy to flow through my gifts, talents and abilities from of my passion.
In today’s post I want to introduce how I made the transition from limiting belief and limiting scripts. The process was slow and arduous at times, but I knew that I needed to be honest with myself. I needed to examine what I believed and why I needed to believe what I believed about myself and about the God of my understanding. I needed to examine what my beliefs entailed. In essence, I needed to examine how those beliefs impacted my relationships with those in my world, the God of my understanding, and myself.
Next, I needed to find out what I was telling myself. I needed to pay attention to the limiting messages that I was giving to myself. I then needed to ask myself what motivated me to invest both my spiritual and emotional energy into the validation process of those limiting messages — scripts. I also needed to determine what type of payoff or secondary gain – perceived benefit – that I thought I was receiving through the maintenance of my limiting beliefs through my limiting scripts. I needed to in essence to determine why I felt the need to undermine my process and to sabotage myself.
Through being honest with myself I needed to ask a simple, but profound question. Are my beliefs and my scripts empowering my process and passion through my gifts, talents and abilities or are my beliefs and scripts diverting energy away from my process, passion and my gifts, talents and abilities?
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Nick says
Hi Craig, life is tough isn’t it? It is easy to lose confidence in ourselves when we see others who are more capable and have more to offer than we have. Speaking from my own experience, it is tempting to use my disability as an excuse not to engage with life. I went to a psychologist to determine what was wrong with me and she did a test on my mental abilities. I was found to be well above average intelligence in most areas, except verbal memory. This made sense as I had an injury to my left temporal lobe as a child. My results for verbal memory were about average and yet I feel way inferior to most people where conversation is concerned. I am coming to the end of my degree course in theology at this time and I need to find out where God wants me to be and what He wants me to do next. I cannot use my mental weakness as an excuse not to do anything with my life. My limiting beliefs and mindset need overcoming somehow.
What exactly is your ‘process’ which you frequently write about? Is it some kind of rehabilitation process in which you are trying to overcome your disability and reach your potential? Where does your belief in God come into this? God led me to His Son a while back and I trust Him with everything. This helps me stay afloat in life’s ocean. I also need to keep myself pure from sin as much as I can in order to be strong. I still suffer from low self-esteem, however. Some of this may be due to the pressures I have been undergoing while studying for a degree at the same time as working. It has been tough to say the least.
How did you challenge and overcome your limiting beliefs and scripts? Was it a case of forcing aside your fears and stepping out onto the water, conscious that God held out His hand? I need to make some big step in faith after my degree into something which will put my studies to good use.
You speak of your gifts, talents and abilities and the fact that your limiting beliefs and scripts stifled them. How would you describe your gifts and how do you hope to help people with them? How does a person discover their gifts, talents and abilities? I play guitar and lead a prayer meeting at church and, though there are only about 8 of us, I get some satisfaction out of the enjoyment people get from the meeting, plus I feel I am serving God in some way. Beyond that, I suppose I have a gift for understanding the faith, yet I don’t seem able to communicate it very well, so I am not sure that it would be something people would benefit from. I do believe that God led me into the degree course, so there must be some gift attached to it which can benefit others.
Another thing I struggle with is women (who doesn’t?!). I find that when I get interested in a woman, I become weak and am prey to attacks from others, for some reason. I put it down to the fact that God does not want me to have a woman, though I am not totally convinced about this. Maybe this idea is just one of the innumerable complexes a person can develop when they are somehow different and consequently marginalized from society, forcing them to constantly question their own behaviour and where they are going wrong.
I am trying to be myself and not make excuses for who I am and why I am somehow different. After all, this is how God made me; even if indirectly through my injury. I aim to make use of what talents remain and not assess my progress too critically. I need to find God’s will for my life and channel my energies in a fulfilling way in accomplishing it. I have a lot of satisfaction in doing well with the degree, which is something I never would have thought possible. I cannot waste what I have achieved and aim to go through a period of discernment so that I can know what God intends me to do next.
Thanks, Craig, for your posts and God bless you in your work.
Nick
secondchancetolive says
Hi Nick,
Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. You ask some very good questions. The process that I refer to in many of my posts is built around the idea that I do not have the big picture and that I can trust God with the process.In my experience, as I have looked back upon my life I see that my life has been like a tapestry. On one side of the tapestry there are many multi-colored threads that do not seem to make any sense. On the other side of the tapestry an exquisite picture is in the process of being formed.
I believe that my circumstances are not meant to keep me down, but they are meant to build me up Nick. I believe that my circumstances provide the opportunity to learn wonderful lessons. I believe those lessons prepare me to take advantage of opportunities as they become available to me. I believe those opportunities provide a new learning environment, where I can take advantage of the circumstances that life presents to me. Those circumstances in turn prepare me to take advantage of future opportunties. I believe that collectively those circumstances, lessons and opportunities point me in the direction of my destiny. Because I do not have the big picture and because I have learned to trust the process — that I will be prepared, a loving God — to direct my steps,and myself — my ability to learn from process I have learned to let go of the outcomes.
I believe that life is a journey, not a destination. I believe that I need to be honest with myself and no longer deny my reality. I am a traumatic brain injury survivor and I have deficits and limitations, however I am not my traumatic brain injury, my deificts or limitations. Please read my 3 part series, https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/02/18/my-journey-thus-far/. I have come to accept my reality and what works for me. I no longer try to be something that I am not in life. I am learning how to channel my spiritual and emotional energy in such a way to use my gifts, talents and abilities in spite of my disability, deficits and limitations. Please read my post, Following your bliss…regardless, https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/04/30/passion/
I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life in 1974. I have an undergraduate degree in Theology from Oral Robert’s University and a year in Seminary at a school in Kentucky. I believe in Jesus, God the Father and the Holy Spirit. I believe that God is the wind under my wings that allows me to use my gifts, talents and abilities because He implanted His passion in me. I believe He has created you and me for destiny my brother. I know that I am a work in process.
Through out Second Chance to Live I share strategies that have helped me to achieve far beyond all reasonable expectations — according to the professionals. I have a site map that lists 270 titles where I share from my experience, strength and hope. I would encourage you to spend time reading through the titles listed in my site map. Not all of the titles have traumatic brain injury or living with an invisible disability in their titles. I design material for Second Chance to Live in such a way to help encourage, motivate and empower the reader to live life on life’s. terms. Please read Whose Shame are you Carrying? https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/05/25/whose-shame-are-you-carrying/ I have learned how to identify and address my limiting scripts over time. I have found that there is no silver bullet.
I lived in a denial system for many years that told me that my traumatic brain injury had nothing to do with the difficulties that I encountered when interacting on jobs and with people in general. Through my process I have learned that the difficulties that I had with people stemmed from the damage to my right frontal lobe. Over the course of my life — during the past 51 years — I have addressed many of my limiting scripts through my involvement with support groups, specifically with Al-anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics and Codependents Annonymous. I have worked on my issues related to the above 12 Step support groups for 22 1/2 years. I have also done a tremendous amount of reading and work. Please read my post Second Chance to Live and Action Steps https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/05/03/second-chance-to-live-%e2%80%93-action-steps/
As to finding using your gifts, talents and abilities, follow your passions and use what you have and take life 1 day at a time. More will be revealed. My great passion is to encourage, motivate and empower people to not give up on themselves, a loving God and on their processes.I have learned how to use my gifts in ways that work for me, as with Second Chance to Live and through public speaking.
My encouragment to you Nick is,try not to be hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can and as you remain open to God’s leading as I need to do on a daily basis — turning your will and your life over to Him on a daily basis and praying for the knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry that out — I belive you will be led in the direction you are supposed to go one day at a time. Again, please remember that more will be revealed to you so trust the process. You will learn what you need to learn and God will open doors for you. You will be fine.
My encouragement to you on the woman front — as I am also encouraged to do — work on being the best you. I have let go of trying to find a soul mate. I am working on following my passion and if God brings a special woman into my life then so be it. Chasing after the wind only leaves us frustrated. God has good things for you my brother. Be encouraged and develop a relationship with yourself. You are a prized possession. Remember that my friend.
You are doing great work. You will and I will get what we need. God has the big picture.
Thank you again for writing and your encouragement Nick. Please pray for me and the ministry of Second Chance to Live that doors will open so that the message of hope will find its way to those who are in need.
God bless you my friend.
Craig
Craig