If you have not read Part 1 of this series, please do so at this time. Thank you. Traumatic Brain Injury and Providence — Part 1
My repeated bouts with financial insecurity motivated me to apply for SSDI and through the application process I was finally approved after my 3rd appeal. For several years after I was approved and began receiving benefits I floundered because I was focused on the threads and how I thought life was “supposed” to be because I diligently applied myself to all that I put my hand to accomplish. My discouragement and expectations, as well as the expectations from other people kept me distracted because life did not deliver the “prize” for my diligence. I truly felt like a man all dressed up with no where to go. Having an invisible disability placed me in a precarious position in my attempts to give what I had to offer to people. Through a series of events I began training in the mixed martial arts under a very wise Sensei. As I attempted to progress through belt promotions, I again found myself running into walls of disappointment. I saw other student’s being promoted ahead of me, despite my best efforts to fulfill the requirements.
Although I was discouraged, I am so glad that I kept training at the martial arts school because I learned an extremely valuable lesson. My training in the martial arts changed the way in which I viewed the “prize”. I discovered that the “prize” was not found in the destination but in the process. Consequently, I was able to let go of the notion that I had to “arrive” before I could be OK with me. The awareness came to me when I was a red belt 4 years ago. I am so happy that I did not get promoted when I thought I was ready. Through my disappointment I learned an invaluable lesson. The lesson that I learned through my process has revolutionized my perspective. As with each circumstance and the experiences that I have gained while training at the martial arts school I have been prepared to take advantage of the opportunity to learn more. I have since received my brown belt – 2 years ago – and I am slated to begin the 8 month long preparation process to test for my black belt later this year in October.
The opportunity to learn more has prepared me to take advantage of the opportunity to become a black belt in the mixed martial arts. Our style is June Fan Jeet Kune Do. My Sensei’s, Sifu’s original Instructor was Bruce Lee.
My experience – through training in the martial arts – has crystallized my understanding of providence. I believe providence occurs on a continuum. I believe providence takes place because I take advantage of the opportunity to learn from the moment. Subsequently, I believe that apart from the preparation provided by the lessons I have learned, I would not be capable of taking advantage of today’s opportunities. My past opportunities have consequently empowered my ability to be diligent with my present opportunities. My present opportunities condition my ability to take advantage of future opportunities. Providence thus frees me from the need to know beyond my present learning opportunities. As I let go of my need to control the process I am able to enjoy my ability to create with the opportunities that become available to me. As I trust the process I am able to let go of the outcomes of my labor. My creative energy becomes an extension of my being and I am able to celebrate in what I am learning because I am able to let go of the timing.
Please read the conclusion in Part 3 of this series. Thank you.
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