I have been thinking about the matter of a person’s destiny today. Through my process I have come to some definite conclusions. These conclusions are not based on speculation but on my experience. I believe that life is like a tapestry. The design of the plan and the purpose for each person is like the multicolored threads that are evident on the backside of the tapestry. Our circumstances create the experiences that fashion the intricacies that enhance our capacity to use our gifts, talents and abilities. The magnificence of our creative capacity is heralded through the opportunities that ensue through our experience. Our opportunities, like the threads of the tapestry are woven into the course of our destinies.
Nevertheless, sometimes we can not see what is being fashioned and formed in the design because we focus too long on the multicolored threads. Our preoccupation with each individual thread becomes a distraction that dissuades our ability to celebrate the journey. Our timing too often obscures our ability to trust the process. Our expectations stand in the way of our ability to let go of the outcomes. Our labor becomes trivial in our minds when we meet with disappointment and discouragement. Our efforts to succeed in life seem to vanish when we face seeming failure and rejection. Our ability to savor our progress appears limited when doors of opportunity close. Our ability to value and accept ourselves is stymied when we judge our efforts through the eyes of other people’s expectations. The temptation at times is to give up on the process.
For many years of my life I lived in bewilderment because I allowed the above factors to derail my process. Although I applied myself with diligence to be of maximum service to God and to my fellow man / woman I consistently seemed to come up short in the delivery. Per my experience I have an undergraduate degree in Theology / Physical Education / Recreation, a Master’s degree in Rehabilitation Counseling, nursing training on the Licensed Practical Nurse level, an Emergency Medical Technician certificate, and practical experience working with families in both the cemetery and funeral business. I have worked with in public and private rehabilitation counseling, within a 28-day residential chemical dependency treatment center, and in a day treatment program for individuals with mental illness. Due to residual cognitive and psyche social deficits and limitations I was either terminated or let go from all of the above positions.
Please read Part 2 and Part 3 of this series. Thank you.
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charley says
i feel like i am reading my story…and my resume!!
but i’ve not only lost jobs, but 13 years of friends and lovers too.
i feel like i am deceiving everyone i meet! letting them believe that i am “normal” because i have no visible disabilities.
and maybe for those moments i am trying to convince myself too.
secondchancetolive says
Hi Charley,
Thank you so very much for writing. You are not alone in your frustration. And the good thing is that you do not have to be alone in your struggle. Please read my post, The Power of Identification, https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/04/18/the-power-of-identification/ In my process, I have found that I no longer have to buy into other people’s denial system for me. I can grow in my awareness and find a new freedom. Please read my 4 part series, My Struggle Living with an Invisible Disability, https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/08/14/my-struggle-living-with-an-invisible-disability/ and my 2 part series, Having an Invisible Disability — The Consequences of Denying my Reality, https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/08/21/having-an-invisible-disability-%e2%80%93-the-consequence-of-denying-my-reality%e2%80%94part-1/
The idea of “normal” is an illusion and a trap. We were created to be uniquely different. You are doing well my friend. Read through my Site Map, https://secondchancetolive.org/site-map/ and read from a selection of titles. Life is a journey, not a destination. Please do not give up on your process on a loving God or on yourself Charley.
God doesn’t make junk.
Stay in touch.
Craig