Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by and visit with me. Today, I will bring to conclusion the series, Making Peace with God and Learning to Trust. In the final part of the article, I will share what I discovered what helped me to draw close to God. What helped me to learn to be at peace with God. What helped me to trust the process, God and myself.
What I discovered through my process is that no one is to blame. My Dad and the churches I attended did the best they knew how to do at the time. What I discovered through my process was that I could change the messages that I received from my Dad and churches with new and empowering messages. Messages that I could tell myself that would empower my ability to trust, be myself and be at peace God.
What I discovered helped me to realize that I no longer had to remain stuck. Instead, I could replace those messages with messages that would help me to make peace with God. Messages that would help me to be myself. Messages that would help me to trust the process, a loving God and myself.
In my process, I had to make peace with the God of my understanding. I had to resolve the conflicts and inconsistencies. I had to understand God’s heart toward me so that I could trust Him. I had to be like Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” who had to see what was behind the guise of the loud ominous voice. I had to make peace with myself and be convinced that God truly cared about my world in a non-punitive fashion. I had to engage with a God who loved with an everlasting love, an unconditional love and a renewing love. I had to see God as a non-critical parent image. I had to see God as a loving parent who has my best interest in mind, so I could trust.
I had to be like Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” who had to see what was behind the guise of the loud ominous voice. I had to be like Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” who realized that she could approach the Great OZ. I had to realize like Dorothy that my God was approachable and that I could draw near to Him without requirement.
I had to realize that I could readily approach God without fear or apprehension. With my awareness, I began to realize that I could have peace with God. With my awareness, I began to realize that I could trust God. I began to realize that I could trust the process and I could trust myself. I began to realize that I did not have to perform to BE. I had to replace my misguided, inadequate belief system in order to trust the God who knew me before I was created in my mother’s womb.
I had to know this God who created me in awe and wonder. I wanted to know my God who cried with me, and was sad when I was sad, who rejoices over me with gladness because I am called according to His purpose. I wanted to know God as a kind and loving Father. I wanted to know my God, who loves me with an everlasting and unconditional unfailing love. I wanted to know my God who promised to be with me, even to the end of the age. I wanted to know the God who knows the extent of my days. I wanted to know the God who knows the plans that He has for me.
Something I discovered through my making peace with God and learning to trust
In order to restore my relationship with a loving God, who truly cared about my world, I had to make significant changes. In my experience, I had to physically detach from places, groups and organizations that controlled through the use of debilitating guilt and debilitating shame. I had to stop paying attention to people who wanted me to qualify my worth through performance. I had to understand how debilitating guilt and debilitating shame drained my creative capacity. I had to understand how critical voices undermined my ability to trust God, the process and myself. I had to replace the demand of perfection with the pursuit of excellence. I had to replace the message of you always do things in a half ass way with a learning curve.
I began to realize that I needed to change the old messages with new messages. Messages the I told myself about myself. Messages that I told myself about God that were not true. Messages that served to alienate me from the Source of who I was created to become in this life.
Spiritual progress, rather than spiritual perfection had to become the measure of success. In my experience, I had to come to terms with my humanity, so that I could do a fearless moral inventory of myself in order to identify patterns that set me up to believe I was a victim of my circumstances. I had to identify defense mechanisms that no longer worked and I needed to be rigorously honest with myself. I had to do the necessary work to enable me to see myself as an empowered being, rather than a human doing. I had to learn how to trust a God who was kind and loving and wanted my very best. I had to do the work to be able to accept the reality that I have a God, who dances and knows how to have fun. I had to begin to live life on life’s terms and let go of matters that are out of my control.
I had to begin to live life on life’s terms and let go of matters that are out of my control. I had to begin to trust the process. I had to trust that the pieces that make up my life would fall into place. That the pieces would fall into place at the right time and in the right order. I had to trust that the dots would connect forward.
In the work I have done subsequent to my awareness I have come to realize that God is for me, not against me. I do not have to earn the love of God for that is given to me unconditionally. I want to serve God and be of maximum service to my fellows because of love, not because I am driven to qualify to be loved. I have come to understand that I am made up of a body, a soul and a spirit and they are to work in tandem, not separately. I have come to realize that God is more interested in my being, than in my doing. My relationship with a loving God motivates me to do the right thing. While there is evil and good in the world, I believe my choice determines how I respond. I can choose to follow goodness and mercy. I can choose to be a part of the solution rather than part of the problem. I can be empowered regardless of what evil may lurk in my world.
What I Discovered
I discovered that living life on life’s terms opened doors as I trust the process. I discovered that by letting go of matters that are out of my control I find peace. I discovered that when things don’t happen like I want them to, God is doing for me what I can not do for myself. I discovered that I could trust the process, a LOVING GOD, and myself. I discovered that more would (will ) be revealed to me in time. I discovered that I could let go of people and situations and trust God with the timing. I discovered that I could let go of the BIG Picture. I discovered that I could have an active role in my life by doing the footwork while trusting the outcomes to a loving God. I discovered that I could ask God to guide and lead me.
Because I have committed myself to my process, I have learned that I can trust God. Through trusting God, I am able to be at peace with a loving God and with myself (most of the time). I am able to learn from my circumstances, instead of feeling victimized by them. Through realizing that I can learn from my circumstances, I see my circumstances as guides. Guides that teach my about myself and empower me to be a part of God’s will for my life. Guides that teach me lessons that prepare me for opportunities.
Opportunities that teach me more lessons that give me insight. Insight that guides me in the direction of my destiny. The destiny for which I was created to fulfill through my life. Having peace with God and learning to trust enables me to accept who I am. Have peace with God and learning to trust has and continues to help me to BE. Be not by doing, but by being.
In the event that you are having a difficult time making peace with God and trusting Him, may I make a suggestion? Pray the below prayer or some thing similar. Ask God to reveal Himself to you as a loving Father. Ask Him to help you to make peace with Him. Ask Him to help you to learn to trust.
“God I do not know if you really care for me, but I am open to receive your love for me. Please restore our relationship and help me to experience you. I want to know how much you really love me. I am wounded and scared from past experiences and I need you to perform a miracle. Please heal my broken heart. Please reveal yourself to me. I am willing. Help me to be willing. In faith I ask you to be a part of my life. I ask you to lead me into your will and purpose for my life. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Amen!”
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