Welcome back. I am glad you decided to stop by and visit with me. For various reasons I allowed a faulty belief system to dictate how I experienced life for many years. I not only bought into this belief system, but I allowed myself to be abused by the belief system. As a person with a disability, I internalized a lie. The lie told me that because I was “different” I had no right to challenge the condemnation I received. As an outcast, societal stigma minimized my opinion. What I thought of me did not matter. I was also led to believe that I needed to apologize for my existence. As a person with a disability you may have also bought into this lie.
The reality is that you are a gift to your world. There is no one like you. You are beautiful and wonderfully made. You are not a mistake. You are not an outcast. You do not have to apologize because you are, nor do I have to apologize because I am. Your opinion is very valuable. You are a bright and shining star. Your being resounds with divine awareness. You display because you are. I display because I am. You are a gift to me and I am a gift to you. I grow because you are and you grow because I am. The essence of our being displays like a rainbow that brings comfort and hope to those around us.
You no longer need to limit yourself. Although there may be people in your world who are unable to see reality — that you are a wonderful gift to them – YOU ARE. Among many other people, you are a gift to me. Let your life shine and be encouraged.
Throughout many years of my life, rejection was a very familiar companion. I was battered about on many fronts by this haunting message; “You are not enough”. In my attempts to silence rejection’s echo, people pleasing and approval seeking became a way of life. When this behavior did not interrupt rejection’s clamoring, I progressively internalized rejection’s deliberation: alienation. Not only did I feel alienated from others, as one cast into dark despair, but more so from myself. Instead of siding with myself, I began siding with those who rejected me. Not only did I side with what they thought; I joined them in their discourse.
Self-criticism progressed to self-hate as I listened to the voice of contempt. As I joined in the confirming of my unworthiness, an emotional cancer ate away at my being. Although I attempted to quell the tide of criticism, I felt defenseless. Debilitating guilt spiraled into debilitating shame. My attempts to invalidate my sense of scorn seemed pointless. I feel into an abyss of isolation.
Thank God that I did not give up on myself or on the process. After beginning my own recovery process, my spiritual eyes started to open. Through active participation in my recovery process, I received a spiritual resuscitation. Slowly, my eyes were opened and I received the treatments, necessary to shrink and then kill the cancer of rejection. Debilitating shame was replaced with self-acceptance and self-love.
Although I may experience rejection from ill informed people, I no longer need to join in the chorus of their disapproval. I may never “measure up” to the validation of some people, and that is fine with me. I have come to believe that my opinion of me is what counts and I like myself. I know that my best is good enough. I now recognize the once loud clamoring echo of rejection as a faint whisper. The voice of my value and experience shouts at the whisper, when it attempts to be heard.
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