Welcome back. I am glad you decided to stop and rest. Over the last several days, I have shared several of my truths with you. I believe that you and I are created with infinite beauty and majesty, waiting to be explored. You and I are like the dawn of a new day to our worlds. For many years I did not believe this reality. And that is why I wrote:
I have been thinking about the matter of each person being unique and special. As I am seeking to be who God created me to become in this life, I find new freedom. Recently, while watching a nature program on TV, I had awareness. This program was discussing penguin colonies and their interactions. As the social interaction of the colony was discussed, special attention was made of an albino penguin, which was given the label of being a mutation. When I heard mutation, bells and whistles went off in my head. God used this program to provide a spiritual awakening.
During my lifetime, I have often felt like I was a mutation, just plain different than other people. I was not aware why this was the case, as I had an invisible disability. As did the announcer, who spoke of the albino penguin, I believed I was a mutation. This belief was reinforced, as I was ostracized for being me. I internalized the contempt people had for me, which led me to reject myself for many years. I felt isolated by others and toward myself. Rather than celebrating my uniqueness, I internalized their ignorance and disdain. Consequently I maintained contempt for myself, because I blamed myself for being a mutation. I spent many years being distraught because I bought into the lie that I was a mutation.
Through my journey and in my process, I have come to see myself as an enigma. Sure I am eccentric at times, and I have my foibles, but I celebrate who I am and what I bring to my world. As I celebrate who I am and what I bring my world, I am released to participate in my creative capacity. This does not mean that I live in a rebellious tone, but that I allow myself to explore the mystery that I to bring to this life. This new mindset encourages me to dismiss the ignorance of people, who are not able to see my value. Rather than attempting to convince anyone of anything, I am able to focus on how I can best use my gifts, talents and abilities. More so, I no longer need to convince any of the other penguins that I am not an albino.
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA